Super Bowl Chicken

So MegaPeep, Brian Butler, wants to know how I make my chicken wings as the Super Bowl looms near. Normally, I'd just blow him off, but he's married to the Fabulous Stacey, so I can't turn a deaf ear.
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Good Chicken wings begin with good chicken. I don't care if it's from that hick at Springer Mountain Farms or the Perdue heir, the wings should look plumb and pink to yellow. They should look like they were flapping on their own a short time ago.
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I get mine from Costco, but that's because I like the way they sell in bulk, but portion well in plastic for freezing. I personally can't stand that Springer Mountain Farms idiot.
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Sharpen your cleaver and chop the wings, discarding the tips. I don't see why they even sell the tips... who the hell ever eats them, and what is there to eat????
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Fill a large kettle half full of oil - peanut oil is best - and heat to about 400 degrees. Don't worry about the cost of the oil. Life is too short. I use a thermometer to test the oil. You want the wings to be in the oil for 12 minutes at 350 degrees, and they will immediately drop the temp down from 400 when they enter.
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Dip the wings in an egg and milk mixture then place in a bowl filled with flour, garlic powder, Italian bread crumbs, parsley, and anything else that you think might make your toes curl. Sometimes I throw in some crushed red pepper. Use your imagination.
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Coat the wings with your flour concoction.
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Now with your wings coated and your oil hot, gingerly place some wings on a large serving spoon and place in the hot oil. It will make a big, loud and crackly disruption, but don't pussy out. You've gone too far to turn back now.
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Add enough chicken to fill the oil, but don't overfill, because the chicken must have enough room to float around freely in the hot oil. Set your timer for 12 minutes. Stir the chicken every once in a while.... just because it's fun to screw around with the hot oil.
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After 12 minutes, take the chicken out with the serving spoon and place in a large mixing bowl. Repeat the process with the remaining chicken.
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With the chicken in the mixing bowl, take a large bottle of Frank's Red Hot Sauce and dredge liberally.
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Place the chicken in a serving dish with a bowl of blue cheese dressing and another bowl for bones.
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Have plenty of paper towels. Tell anyone who asks for the recipe to send $19.95 to Nanepashemet Recipes, 32 Beverly Ave., Marblehead, MA 01945.

Tuna Lips said...

Sounds cluckaliscious, Colonel Sanders. I am gonna whip up some of my "Angry Catfish Balls" and "Arby's Beef Curtains", mix up a jug o' Kool Aid, and roll out the welcome wagon! Its party time at Casa Tuna!