Voting Advice

It was quite a busy and aggravating day for me Peeps, as I fielded emails and voicemails in a steady neurotic stream of requests asking me who to vote for.
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Naturally, I gave each and every request a nurturing, patient, and concerned response.
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Something like....."What are you asking me for, NumbNuts?  Don't you have a shred of freaking sense in your freaking vacant void of a cranium?"
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It's important to maintain the self esteem of people who can't figure out how many sheets of paper to wipe their shitty asses with.
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I'm there for you Peeps.  Lean on me.
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But for those of you who still can't figure out this choosing a candidate stuff, here is my election eve advice.    If you think Obama will pay your mortgage, keep you on the payroll, issue you foodstamps, pay for your contraceptives, abort your fetuses... all the while honing his golf game and blaming George Bush for every failure he confronts.....then Obama is your choice for President.  
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And if you think that Elizabeth Warren is a victimized Cherokee Indian, who lives in a $1.7Mil. Victorian mansion in Cambridge that she terms a fixerupper, and who represents large corporations then tries to tell the herd of sheep out there that she was really working for the people who opposed her clients.... then color in the little slot next to Elizabeth Warren's name for your next US Senator.
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I've already told you that I'm voting for Romney and Brown.  Not that they are exceedingly charismatic, but I'm betting that they are smart enough to develop policies that won't screw with me and mine, and won't talk down to me and lay a line of constant bullshit.  In the end, they'll cost me the least amount of money, so they have my vote.