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Seriously, I'm always amazed to see how sophisticated

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If they take a coffee mug or a shirt, they'll generally give you enough time to make a pitch for your services.
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Plus our shirts and mugs have our cool "Nanepashemet" Logo on them.
Its the duty of ussins' to protext our hard earned cash from thems that would give some of it away and keep the rest of it for theyselves. Only change is some mealy eyed galoot got whats mine.
More fancy words. What is it with these folks you malingering with, quotificating and plagerizing, likes we somehow sposed to feel a stirrin at the bottom of our scrotums and the light will shines down and we are suddenly poor in the pocket but filled in the spirit. I played that honkey-tonk, there is plenty of unaccounted for cash and lonely housewives in it fer the man at the top. Called it the First Church of the Lost Redeemer. Just outside San Antone. Made a killin'. But I digress. Them fancy words is best saved for the lost souls searching for salvification. The plain talkin man gets my vote all the time.
And just so the folks at home ain't misunderstandin, Ise plenty capable of givin' my money out myself to thems in need. Just ask that web-footed harlot with the crossed eyes down at Strum's, tell her Tuna sent ya. Believe her name is Chloey.
The power of Christ compelicates me to say to those know it alls that the problem with your cogitations is simply that you put a dimes worth of fifty cent words into breaking my Sweet Potato Pie's balls and plain folk dont cotton to fifty cent words. Comes across likes you is trying to tells us that you is smarter than us round the way types. Miss Sarah dont make me feel that way. Ergo and thusly, get the f*ck off my stoop, you go and sell yer salvation elswhere. This here is the US of A, and you'd do right to think hard on that, stead of thinking on how much better than the rest of us you is. My Jimmy Deans is cookin, I gots to run, but get this straight, there is only half (and likely 1/3) a country that you think matters. That one third aint gonna get er done.
That is why I watch Fox 25 News. Keeping it local!