Government on Steroids

The possibility of Barry Bonds going to jail for lying about steroid use is ludicrous. The prisons couldn't hold all of the athletes, trainers and team officials who are guilty of this.
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Using steroids is stupid, but is it cheating? Does lifting weights give an athlete an unfair advantage? How about jogging? How about cortisone shots?
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I don't condone the use of steroids because it is stupid, not because it is cheating. If Bonds wants to tear apart his future body for a short term career satisfaction, that is his stupid choice.

BTW, looking at Bonds' photos at the beginning of his career and then now is completely bogus. I'm 100 lbs heavier too, and never stuck the juice into my ass cheek. You get old, you get heavier for most of us. Live with it.
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Bonds apparently is a man of low character. That is why he allegedly lied about taking steroids. But to set him up for indictment is a waste of government resources.

POTW Week 46

I hate to reveal my weaknesses to you Peeps.... because you are so quick to judge, and so harsh in your judgements. Yet, I am drawn to express the truth from a strange, moving, somewhat idiotic force. I wish that I could be more demure and discrete at times.... but discretion can be so boring.
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So, given that nice little preamble, I have to admit that I am scared of heights.... really afraid.... like having a sinking fear from my stomach to my scrotum. I can be on a rooftop with a parapet, and no problem. But a flat roof that you can fall off the edges sends me to wanting to assume the fetal position in the middle, as far away from the edges as possible.
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Notice that I said wanting. I resisted the position in actuality
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Not only am I nervous for me, but I can't stand to see anyone else near the edge.
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I know what you're thinking.....
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How can a rough, tough manly man like myself be so freaking fearful???
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It's a mystery to me too. But today, on a rooftop in Providence, RI, I was reduced to a quivering mass of nervous protoplasm. Which reminds me....

ANNOUNCING....
Nanepashemet Peeps of the Week for the 46th Week of 2007

• Bill Shanahan
• Jill Phillips
• Emily Buttorf
• Pat Piscatelli
• Sue Roper
• Debby Clarke

Tomorrow, I'll get on another roof.

Mass Movement

Peeps.....
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Would you believe it if I told you that I was too busy to Blog?
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Say it ain't So!!!
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But that is the case as Nanepashemet Telecom reaches critical mass. After a while, we will open up and hire, which I swore not to do, but it is getting big fast. Which means I am glued to this keyboard, with a Blog in need and a Dory project waiting for a next step that just keeps getting pushed back.
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Please don't panic. I will find a way to solve this.

Tender Moment

For those of you who have been constantly asking to see a photo of the Tender, here it is.
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See???
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Obviously, I'm not immune to your incessant questions and comments. ~
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Even I can be worn down.

Dory Delays

Yesterday, during my row around the Harbor, I saw an 18 foot Swampscott Dory with two oarsmen. It moved throught the swells very smoothly and inspired me to get the Marblehead Gunning Dory project back on track. But today, I hit the laptop at 6:30AM, skipped lunch, broke for dinner at 5:30 PM and then worked from 7:30 until just now at 9:45PM. And I still didn't get where I wanted to be. My partners are also kicking it.
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And that's just to clear to decks so that we can deal with the big procurement that just walked in the Nanepashemet Telecom door. There will be some major hours processing that. I'm not complaining. This is infinitely better than waiting for the phone to ring, or trying to manufacture opportunities.
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But I'm not the least bit optimistic about finding the time to spend on the Dory. Plus it's starting to be the time to plan on the annual Nestor Thankgiving Eve Bash. Joanne wants to scale it down this year. She says that every year, and every year it always escalates to a blowout.
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What makes this year different? Absolutely nothing. All of you Peeps are invited, and none of you know how to behave.

Pinch Yourself

Did the Red Sox win the World Series a couple weeks ago? Or have I been dreaming? Holy Shit!!! Time to pinch myself.

Cool November Row

It was a clear, cool November mornng today, and I took the opportunity to catch the high tide at 11:00AM to row the Tender from River Head Beach to the green can at the beginning of the Marblehead Harbor. The swells were rolling right into the Harbor, and crashing spray onto the rocks at the Barnicle and the Lighthouse.
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The harbor was pretty empty and most of the boats were hauled. I smashed into a number of moorings, but the Tender seemed oblivious to it.
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It was a pain hauling out on the concrete ramp however, and the strip of naval brass that was epoxied to the keel was ripped off. Luckily I found it on the adjacent beach, and I'll have to screw it back on. The epoxy alone obviously wasn't enough.
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When I finally got the Tender back on the trailer, Abby Bruett showed up and I helped her and Greg haul the Mystic Krewe onto their trailer. Good timing.

Dale Johnson's Nostalgic Fashion Retreat

Dale and Gail Johnson sent me this Blog entry. It was painfully hard to get the pictures right and after a while, I just gave up. But it is pretty funny and worth the effort.

This is entirely Dale's narrative.
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Last weekend I put an exhaust fan in the ceiling for my wife's grandfather. While my wife's brother and I were fitting the fan in between the joists, we found something under the insulation. What we found was this:



A JC Penney catalog from 1977. It's not often blog fodder just falls in my lap, but holy hell this was two solid inches of it, right there for the taking. I thumbed through it quickly and found my next dining room set, which is apparently made by adding upholstery to old barrels:

Also, I am totally getting this for my bathroom:



There's plenty more home furnishings where those came from, however I'm not going to bore you with that. Instead, I'm going to bore you with something else. The clothes.

The clothes are fantastic.

Here's how to get your ass kicked in elementary school:



Just look at that belt. It's like a boob-job for your pants. He probably needed help just to lift it into place. The belt loops have to be three inches long. And way to pull them up to your armpits, grandpa.

Here's how to get your ass kicked in high school:



This kid looks like he's pretending to be David Soul, who is pretending to be a cop who is pretending to be a pimp that everyone knows is really an undercover cop. Who is pretending to be 15.

Here's how to get your ass kicked on the golf course:



This "all purpose jumpsuit" is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house. Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around your cell in D-block. Even then, the only reason you should put this thing on is because the warden made you, and as a one-piece, it's slightly more effective as a deterrent against ass-rapery.

Here's how to get your ass kicked pretty much anywhere:



If you look at that picture quickly, it looks like Mr. Bob "No-pants" Saget has his hand in the other guy's pocket. In this case, he doesn't, although you can tell just by looking at them that it's happened - or if it hasn't happened it will. Oh yes. It will. As soon as he puts down his matching coffee cup.

Here's how to get your ass kicked at the beach:



He looks like he's reaching for a gun, but you know it's probably just a bottle of suntan lotion in a holster.

How to get your ass kicked in a meeting:

If you wear this suit and don't sell used cars for a living, I believe you can be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you'd be forced to wear that orange jumpsuit.

Tommy the Astronomer

Tommy O says that he saw a fireball like object in the sky over Beverly Ave. a couple of nights ago.

Look at the email he sent me.

Hi Jay,

This is making me a little crazy; I have been online looking to see if there were any other chuckleheads who saw this thing.

As I investigate I find that this may have been a “fireball”. Take a look at the photo below as this is exactly what I saw and the rest of the world did not.

Regards, TommyO

There are obvious problems with this email. First of all Tom, you were a little crazy long before seeing this so called "fireball" . Second, they are not "chuckleheads"... the proper nomenclature is "Peeps".

Now this is going to cause a whole new rash of hysterical emails. Thanks alot Tommy.

Another Convert

Yesterday, at various and repeated times, McMahon, Vona, Rafe, Frankie James and a girl whose name I forgot came by to drink their beers and Twisted Tea and sit with Joanne and I. They wanted to see the progress on the Dory, which was embarrassing, because of the sad progress attained on that all important project.
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I introduced Frankie to the virtues of Lagavulin though, so it wasn't all bad.

Dream On

I got up at 5:30AM this morning to get a glass of juice to drink. A night of snoring can really cause a killer case of dry mouth. My cat Roenick was dancing around at the door to be let out. I knew that with the subfreezing morning chill, that he'd regret that decision if I decided to go back to bed... which I did.
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Normally I would search for the channel changer and find some cool program on the History Channel to try to wake up to, but the channel changer was missing so I decided to drift back off to sleep and pay attention to my dreams.
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Man... Dreams can be so crazy. The way things seem so logical as you are dreaming them, then you wake up and say "How does a volleyball transform into a Cat????" and "Why was I gagged and wearing earmuffs at a company picnic?" and even much weirder stuff that is hard to articulate.
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It is amazing that when you are dreaming, these images and transformations seem perfectly tuned to reality. Then when you wake up and think about it, you say to yourself, "WTF!!!"
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Naturally, a bunch of you wise ass Peeps are going to make stupid remarks of what these images reveal about me. Bring it on!!! If you were so damn well adjusted, you wouldn't be logging on to this rediculous Blog.

Getting into the Holiday Spirit

Its the freaking holiday season. You have to admit, this year flew by. With less than two months to go, it's been one of the best and worst years of my life.