~
A couple of end of year tasks, a lunch with some Peeps, and that's it.
~
Tomorrow we will unveil the Nanepashemet Peep of the Year for 2010.
Don't get your hopes up.
It's not going to be you.
- Me and the Mayans are hoping to celebrate 2010...*_*
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Thursday, December 31, 2009
Setting the Stage
New Year's Eve Day.
~
A couple of end of year tasks, a lunch with some Peeps, and that's it.
~
Tomorrow we will unveil the Nanepashemet Peep of the Year for 2010.
Don't get your hopes up.
It's not going to be you.
~
A couple of end of year tasks, a lunch with some Peeps, and that's it.
~
Tomorrow we will unveil the Nanepashemet Peep of the Year for 2010.
Don't get your hopes up.
It's not going to be you.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Decade of Terror
~
Having won the Cold War in the 90's, we were supposed to be enjoying a peace dividend. With vast military superiority, we were set to become the benevolent police force in the world.
~
Instead, the freaking Crusades started up again. Stuff that was supposed to have ended 1,000 years ago raised its ugly head. Where before, we were worried about the Russians destroying our country, and could focus our military against theirs.... now we have to be alert to every insane Muslim zealot who wishes to kill himself in order to gain a cushy, sex-filled spot in the afterlife.
~
Sorry, but I think I'd rather have the Russians. At least they pointed the gun right at you, and muscled up against our military. These Middle Eastern nutcases choose to send human bombs to kill non-combatants in public forums. And there is no way to negotiate with them. They just want us dead.
~
I feel so bad for the vast majority of Muslims who are being painted with the same brush as this insane few. The bad feeling that can be generated against a God loving religion is the real victim of these attacks.
~
BTW, Happy New Year.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Security Measure
"A conservative is a liberal who has been mugged." - Irving Kristol
~
Unfortunately we have been getting mugged lately by Islamic Jihadists who ascertain that they are going to God by killing and terrorizing innocent people.
~
You would think that the key to security is checking the status of people when they buy their airline tickets, rather than shaking down every Grandmother and Girl Scout who tries to enter the terminal.
~
So let's start profiling people big time. Frisk the Swarthy looking Muslims who have been shooting people, lighting their feet on fire, and trying to explode their crotches.... after you've done a computer scan on their ticket.
~
If the bombers were white, Irish, middle aged, chubby guys like me, then I wouldn't mind being frisked because of the profile. But that's not the case. The perpetrators continue to be crazy eyed middle eastern zealots with bad fitting clothes.
~
Run my name past a data base when I buy my ticket and code the ticket. If I don't show up in a high risk, terrorist database, then leave me the hell alone,
~
And don't even think about putting me in some x-ray machine that will let some minimum wage security guard check the size of my man tackle.
~
Unfortunately we have been getting mugged lately by Islamic Jihadists who ascertain that they are going to God by killing and terrorizing innocent people.
~
You would think that the key to security is checking the status of people when they buy their airline tickets, rather than shaking down every Grandmother and Girl Scout who tries to enter the terminal.
~
So let's start profiling people big time. Frisk the Swarthy looking Muslims who have been shooting people, lighting their feet on fire, and trying to explode their crotches.... after you've done a computer scan on their ticket.
~
If the bombers were white, Irish, middle aged, chubby guys like me, then I wouldn't mind being frisked because of the profile. But that's not the case. The perpetrators continue to be crazy eyed middle eastern zealots with bad fitting clothes.
~
Run my name past a data base when I buy my ticket and code the ticket. If I don't show up in a high risk, terrorist database, then leave me the hell alone,
~
And don't even think about putting me in some x-ray machine that will let some minimum wage security guard check the size of my man tackle.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Map to Buffness
Not for Nothing, but... I was just discussing with Joanne that if I lost 1 lb per week every week for the next year, I would lose over 50 lbs. It seemed like a good sign when she didn't roll her eyes and actually listened.
~
But, when you look at it that way, it doesn't seem unattainable at all. I mean, calculate the calories that you can eat every day in order to lose 1 lb per week. In my case, that is 2,237 calories.
~
Keep track of the calories with some food program on your computer or IPOD that you eat every day, burn 600+/- calories on the Cybex or the treadmill, and after one year.....you will be the rough, tough, hard to bluff, mountain of a man that is your true destiny.
~
It almost seems too easy. Even now, I'm holding out on that second glass of Scotch.
~
I can hardly wait until next year.
~
But, when you look at it that way, it doesn't seem unattainable at all. I mean, calculate the calories that you can eat every day in order to lose 1 lb per week. In my case, that is 2,237 calories.
~
Keep track of the calories with some food program on your computer or IPOD that you eat every day, burn 600+/- calories on the Cybex or the treadmill, and after one year.....you will be the rough, tough, hard to bluff, mountain of a man that is your true destiny.
~
It almost seems too easy. Even now, I'm holding out on that second glass of Scotch.
~
I can hardly wait until next year.
- Well you won’t get 72 virgins for your efforts but there is a reward. A jigger of that smokey stuff you like is about 73 calories. Some trade off...choose your path wisely...
Stupid Terrorists
Abdul Mutallab prepared to spend Christmas on a commercial flight by stuffing explosives in his underpants. But apparently the fuse or something went wrong and he had a fire in his crotch but no explosion.
~
That happens to a lot of us from time to time, but the difference is that we are not generally trying to kill ourselves and everyone around us when we experience the malfunction.
~
If you've ever seen some of the morons at airlne security, you know that it's only a matter of time before some other whack job like Abdul sneaks a load in his undies and blows a plane to smithereens. There is no way we can truly protect ourselves from the Ahdul types who are hell bent on exploding there privates and taking a airplane full down with them.
~
Do you still get to have sex with the virgins if your genitals have been obliterated in your martyrdom?? Something to look up in the Koran, I suppose.
~
Lucky for us that the Islamic suicidal terrorists are even stupider than the airline security workers, or we would really see some carnage.
~
That happens to a lot of us from time to time, but the difference is that we are not generally trying to kill ourselves and everyone around us when we experience the malfunction.
~
If you've ever seen some of the morons at airlne security, you know that it's only a matter of time before some other whack job like Abdul sneaks a load in his undies and blows a plane to smithereens. There is no way we can truly protect ourselves from the Ahdul types who are hell bent on exploding there privates and taking a airplane full down with them.
~
Do you still get to have sex with the virgins if your genitals have been obliterated in your martyrdom?? Something to look up in the Koran, I suppose.
~
Lucky for us that the Islamic suicidal terrorists are even stupider than the airline security workers, or we would really see some carnage.
POTY Process Planning
~
By all accounts, she has had a good year. No emotional outbursts, no scandals, no legal complications.... or at least none that we have knowledge of .
~
And that in itself is an accomplishment.
~
Being a POTY is no easy task, what with all of the public scrutiny and stuff. It's not for everybody, and Lauren proved to be worthy of her title. We will expect that she will make her closing remarks sometime this week as did her predecessors, Tommy McMahon, and Michael "Murph" Murphy.
~
But now it's time to look to the future... to select another who can carry the mantle forward, who can be a symbol for annoyance, irritation and/or inspiration for all of us.
~
I do have some POTY candidates in mind. Naturally the usual suspects...Mountain of a Man Bobby Brown, SuperPeep Brian Butler, Tuna Lips Antagonist Maria Rowen, Archrival Joe Collins, and Patrick "Pisc" Piscatelli come to mind almost instantly. But there are significant others
~
And the selection criteria hasn't changed. Like the Peep of the Week, the POTY must meet the following standards.
- He/She must have done something Annoying or Inspirational over the past year.
- Can't be Dead.
- Can't be an Animal.
- OR..... (and this is an automatic "out of my hands" choice) must have bought me a CASE of Lagavulin before the crucial selection.
- That there Rowen lass ain't nothin without ole TL to spark her imaginin'. Ise deserves a piece o' the pie. Slim pickin's otherwise, mixed bag of immigant lay abouts and horse theeves.
- May the best wo(man) win the coveted POTY. Today however, the POTTY goes to the Trini-Lopez-looking,carbon-based-life-form seen fleeing a local ladies room. Even the horse thieves are not safe...
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Long Haul Motivation
I haven't formulated any of my New Year's Resolutions yet.... which is always a hapless task, prone to failure and dissapointment. But that doesn't mean I'm going to give up.
~
Naturally, one of my resolutions will be to lose weight and get in shape. as I have resolved for the last 20/30 years or so.
~
So why should this year be any different? Actually there is a chance this year because of a number of divergent forces. There are Katelyn and Lisa Rowe who are always nagging me about the last time I worked out... or... asking, "Did you workout today?"
~
That type of irritation is definitely a reason to be able to respond something like "Yeah, I did five miles easy." or something like that.... but that only works if you actually did the mileage.
~
Then there is Lisa's bionic husband, Harvey, who will still be training for triathons when he is a hundred and four or so. Just looking at him makes me pissed off that I'm not in shape.
~
Also there is our guy at FreshAyer who does a minimum of 500 pushups a day, five miles on the track, and God knows how may situps.... and he looks damn buff because of it. Course he has the time to do it, and I certainly hope that I never have that type of time. But he still is inspirational in taking the opportunity to invest his spare time in health and strength pursuits.
~
So there is definitely cause for motivation. I just did 9+ miles on the Cybex, and felt pretty bad doing it.
~
This will be a long haul.
~
Naturally, one of my resolutions will be to lose weight and get in shape. as I have resolved for the last 20/30 years or so.
~
So why should this year be any different? Actually there is a chance this year because of a number of divergent forces. There are Katelyn and Lisa Rowe who are always nagging me about the last time I worked out... or... asking, "Did you workout today?"
~
That type of irritation is definitely a reason to be able to respond something like "Yeah, I did five miles easy." or something like that.... but that only works if you actually did the mileage.
~
Then there is Lisa's bionic husband, Harvey, who will still be training for triathons when he is a hundred and four or so. Just looking at him makes me pissed off that I'm not in shape.
~
Also there is our guy at FreshAyer who does a minimum of 500 pushups a day, five miles on the track, and God knows how may situps.... and he looks damn buff because of it. Course he has the time to do it, and I certainly hope that I never have that type of time. But he still is inspirational in taking the opportunity to invest his spare time in health and strength pursuits.
~
So there is definitely cause for motivation. I just did 9+ miles on the Cybex, and felt pretty bad doing it.
~
This will be a long haul.
- Peep – Perfection – Pressure…it’s always there… beside, behind, below, between and in the face of every scoop, scallop and scone… I admire those with the will and the way… and will face next year with optimism and determination to make it better than the one before!
- Ise tell you about pressin needs. I liberated a shrimp po' boy from the day old table at the Piggly Wiggly, myself runnin' on a three day drunk. Short time thereafter, I had ta wills my way into the facility at the Old Dixie Shoppin' Center, after I sharted an image of the dolly lama in my fruit o' the looms. After evacuatin' my guts of that rancid grist (I haves a rite mind to soo them heartless profiteers), comes to find I was in the ladies room. Some dyke mall cop look like Linda Trip chased me outta there with tissue streamin' from my trousers and a gaggle of hens slingin' whatever they could get they hands on. Come to learn the haz mat folks was called in. All on account of a day old sammich.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
No Obligation
It's nice when the day after Christmas falls on a Saturday. Because the Day after Christmas is a day for doing nothing.... or at least, not anything that you are normally obligated to do. Kate went with us out to FreshAyer for our visit, then we had lunch at the Boston Yacht Club. It was an interesting contrast. Both were enjoyable in such different ways.
Tuna Lips said...
Sounds like yer going gay, Not that there is nutting wrong with that, Ise specatates.
Tuna Lips said...
Sounds like yer going gay, Not that there is nutting wrong with that, Ise specatates.
Friday, December 25, 2009
POTW Week 52
It was a nice Christmas.
~
Just the right amount of joy and stress, with no apparent blowouts... yet.
~
Course we missed our guy in FreshAyer, and will visit tomorrow, but harmony and good will prevailed.
~
Now the attention will turn to the crucial New Year's Resolutions and the sacred task of choosing the Nanepashemet Peep of the Year. There is always the chance that some of you could buy the title by bringing me a case of Lagavulin, but I can't let myself get carried away with hope.
~
But the year went by fast, didn't it? That's why I don't get too depressed by the time left for FreshAyer.
~
Course, you are free to nominate Peeps for the Peep of the Year designation, but as usual, I will pay little or no attention to your suggestions.
~
Just the right amount of joy and stress, with no apparent blowouts... yet.
~
Course we missed our guy in FreshAyer, and will visit tomorrow, but harmony and good will prevailed.
~
Now the attention will turn to the crucial New Year's Resolutions and the sacred task of choosing the Nanepashemet Peep of the Year. There is always the chance that some of you could buy the title by bringing me a case of Lagavulin, but I can't let myself get carried away with hope.
~
But the year went by fast, didn't it? That's why I don't get too depressed by the time left for FreshAyer.
~
ANNOUNCING....
Nanepashemet Peeps of the Week for the 52th week of 2009.
Emily Ingardia
Tom Raich
Joe LeBlanc
Chevy Chase
Vicky Kennedy
Maria Rowen
Course, you are free to nominate Peeps for the Peep of the Year designation, but as usual, I will pay little or no attention to your suggestions.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Christmas Wishes
~
I know that I've been hard on the Democrats this year, but they are people too, and I wish them well as they celebrate politically correctly during this religiously inspired national holdiay. May they never require health care as they age and deteriorate.
~
The lefty news media also deserves a "Happy Holidays" shout out. May you never run out of crayons to color the incompetent actions of your favorite President.
~
Tiger Woods deserves some well wishes. You've successfully debunked the myth that having random sex with Hot Babes is all fun and games.
~
To the worker at FreshAyer who lost his job in the unfortunate racial slur incident, I wish you "Felice Navidad y Prospero Ano Nuevo".... may you cease to be a Loser Bigot in your next job at Walmart or wherever..
~
For my various Lawyers to whom so much of my cash flowed so freely this year, I bid you "Comfort and Joy". Each of you were worth every penny in your respective efforts. I'm so grateful that the economic spigot stayed on the open position all year.
~
To our friends who lost loved ones this year, our prayers are with you during this time of family and memories.
~
I have to back off at this point, because this list could get long and tedious, and I don't want to lose my nice positive buzz that I woke up with this morning.
~
But sincerely.... I wish a happy, "Merry Christmas" to all of the Peeps who stood by us this year. You know who you are, and we do too, and we will never foget how you helped and supported us.
~
As crazy as everything was, we have so many reasons to be thankful and happy that bitterness and betrayal have no place to take root. So please accept our wish to you of "Peace on Earth, Good Will toward Men".
- My dysentary presence is required at the Christmas party hosted by Jasper Ricketts at the "Nuttin' Butt Horseplay" roadhouse. Weeze makes quite merry, what with all the spirits a flyin' and traditional yuletide lap dancin'. Havin' been down this road many a time, and before Ise bows down before the porcelain honda and upchuck the pigs in a blanket and baloney roll ups, I bows before the baby Jesus and give thanks and praise for creatin' me in his imagery and seatin' me on the side with the proper folk. I extends to all thems that deserve my extendin' it to them a seasoned greetin, and a pull of this here bottle of christmas magic. Shoo Fly isa comin' by with our dates. His old lady got furloughed and she has a runnin buddy likes to whoop it up. Ho ho ho!! Ize gone!
- Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.-- Norman Vincent Peale...I believe in the magic...and the cookies and milk will be set by the chimney with care...Peace and Thanks for the fun!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Preliminary Greeting.
Even though I have one more business meeting tomorrow morning, I think it's time to rachet it down and get ready for some serious Xmas celebration. We'll be sending out our annual Christmas wishes in the next post or so. But if I get too much cheer between now and then, Merry Christmas.
Sidestep
To those of you high-minded, self-righteous, lefty-leaning, Nanepashemet Peep Wannabees who think that I can't stand Katy Couric simply because she is a forward promoting female..... how do you explain the fact that I really like Meredith Vieira????~
Yeah... I thought you would have trouble with that one.
~
I find Vieira to be as forthright, engaging and honest as Couric is deplorable, obnoxious, and phoney.
~
So your hapless attempt to thwart me is foiled again.
~
Better luck next time.
And she is much easier to look at then The Couric.
-
Tuna Lips said...
- Yis fergot to menshun her fabulous buttocks. That is one prize virginny ham, I'd eat a mile o' dirt to have a bit outta that marble peach. Hooeeey!
- To Il Senor and Senor Pescados...it takes a Mountain of a Man to admit that sometimes left is right...
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