Gag Me With a Spoon

Joanne sucked me into watching a whole episode of "The Bachelorette".
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DeAnna Pappas is a decent looking female of Greek extraction from Georgia. She's got these two idiots, Jason and SnowBoard Boy, saying every sappy line that has ever been invented to get her to accept their marriage proposal.
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"I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
"I never thought I could feel this way."
"She is my soulmate."
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Where do they find such ASSHOLES?????
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To think that I'm almost ready to waste some perfectly good vomit over these three losers.
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That is what really chokes me up.
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BTW, she picked SnowBoard Boy.... that's who I was rooting for all along.

Tuna Lips said...

Thems lines was ripped from chapter 3 of the TL Book of Gettin' Some - "I Will Respect You in The Mornin'". Shucks.

Not Keepers

Apparently this guy, John Shaw, has been going all around town boasting about his fishing prowness and we've even heard about it up here in Marblehead!
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BTW, John, those schoolie stripers aren't keepers.... even three of those wouldn't add up to one keeper.
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You're going to have to fish a lot more.

Refreshment at the Dolphin

The weekend July 4th weather has been just short of crappy. No rain, but constantly overcast and cool.... not the summer beach day that you look for during this holiday.
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Joanne and I watched the fireworks at the Dolphin Yacht Club deck with Lynda and Will Murray.
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As is my custom at these places, I sampled the Dark and Stormies that the Dolphin served. I actually had quite a few samples to see if there were any variations in quality. There were not.
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Joanne liked the Gin and Tonics so much that she drank them until she didn't like them anymore.
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We had lots of fun.

Wojcik Said...
IT seems the Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility does not apply to the Hairy One!

July 4th Reflections

The Roman Empire lasted for 1400 years. Makes the American Republic of 233 years seem like a baby... which it is in historical terms. One of the important things to consider is that the Roman Empire ended.
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Will America last? It's been constantly changing since it's shaky beginning, revolting against the dominant world power of it's time, Great Britain.
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Now we are a country that wields massive power, enough to the destroy the earth's inhabitants. We are self righteous in the use of that power and cause resentment in other nations which is hard to comprehend at times.
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Exactly why did the Al Queda group decide to commit the murder of thousands of Americans? That is not clear to most of us... particulary to me.
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And America's disproportionate comsumption of the Earth's resources certainly cannot last. The emergence of Asia to modern consumer economies will certainly affect the current American system. We cannot continue with our reliance on fossil fuels, although the conversion to solar, and fuel cells seems to be ready technologically.
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Will America Last? Certainly for the forseeable future. But it will have to evolve and adapt, as it has been doing for that last 2 1/3 centuries.

Tuna Lips said...

To thems of us that have not just fallen off the cabbage cart, its perty plain to see that them arabs wants our money and our porn.

They thinks we gots no allegiance. But you gimme a stack of nuddie magazines and a bunch of rutting, jobless high school drop out, and Ise shows you right quick how to open a can of wupp ass and what this here country is made out of. Take a bar of soap an civilmalize them summinbitches.

Power Nap

Naps rule. They are the ultimate source of refreshment and rejuvenation. It seems that when you nap, your body is giving itself the perfect doze of rest and relaxation.
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Taking a power nap should be mandatory at corporations. Instead of people fighting through afternoon fatigue, they should be required to take a half hour nap. That would vastly improve their effectiveness and worth to the company for the rest of the day.
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And yet, dozing off is seen as a sign of weakness and lack of character. That's too bad. Not everybody needs them, and some people including Joanne, can't take them. She never dozes off.
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When I am President, my first executive order will be to require mandatory naps.

Towel in Hand

I was checking in to see how my college roommate, Bob Towne, did in the Western States 100 mile run and found out that the run was cancelled due to forest fires. That has to be a dissapointment.... training for a 100 miler and having it postponed.
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The results from last year detailed over 250 runners who completed the distance in less than 30 hours. I can't imagine staying awake for 30 hours, much less running continuously. Plus the recovery must be a bitch in itself!
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I'm afraid that my own marathon training effort has fallen victim to the pace of work at Nanepashemet Telecom and a nagging left knee. I haven't thrown in the towel yet, but it's doubtful that the Marine Corps Marathon in October will have me on the starting line. If Towne and my Archrival Joe Collins go, I'll be there one way or another though.

WS100 Latest News

Going to the Mat for Tommy O.

Just as I thought that I was setting the gas pedal for cruise control, once again I'm called to use my superior wit and intellect to sidestep a potentially sticky situation.
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Seems that Tommy O' Shea had raised some eyebrows over at the Gerry due to his proclivity with a pool cue. He definitely threatened some and inspired others. It started to look like a real deadlock with his nomination for membership and some of the detractors were ominously rolling a black marble on the table in front of them.
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That's when I knew that I had to take action and put my oratorical skill to the test.
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As I was taking the floor, the room fell to a soft hush. I sent a glare to the detractors and nodded comfortingly to the admirers. The room was mine. The chairman asked the crucial question.... "Is anybody here for Tommy O' Shea."
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I slowly but firmly raised my left arm.
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That's it. Tommy's in the Gerry.

Packing it in.

It's only Wednesday, but I might pack it in for the July 4th holiday weekend. I probably overworked myself on Mon and Tues anyway, getting the 40 hours in that you regular peeps take five days to do.
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Sometimes being a mountain of a man has it's benefits. We'll cover a few items tomorrow. but Nanepashemet Telecom won't be at full speed until next Monday, when the frenzy resumes.
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Plus, I have to go to the Gerry 5 tonight because they are voting in Tommy O for membership, and I took the solemn responsibility of sponsoring him...... I know what you are thinking, but we couldn't keep him out forever and somebody had to sponsor him.... So I stepped up.
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Again.... a pure example of the courage and character that is a requirement to be me.

Pisca-azzzzzzzz said...

Wow. Lively lot you got there. Frame that picture. Good times.

Anonymous said...

Somebody wake the guy on the left!

Waiting for Sun

Another overcast day. I'll take this but some sun for the holiday weekend would be nice.
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Joanne has been in North Conway for the last few days and the weather is rainy there too. She loves the pool up there, but the last few days haven't yielded any quality pool time.

Tuna Lips said...

That was one of my better lines with the ladies, back in the go go 70's. I had the mustache and plaid slacks with turtleneck, my work uniform if youse know what I'm talkin' about.

I'd find myself seemingly outmatched by the the peacenik fruticake guys with their peace and sissy rap. Lesser types (like those found in the dirt races) woulda given up. But not this here feller.

Sitting on the stoop of my bacheloriate pad, lookin' for the newspapers to see if there was anything in there about the incident with the livestock from the night before, and some pretty lil' thing comes by and asks ole TL "what's the haps?" I told her I was waiting for the Sun, that being the local newspaper. She must have found the smoothness of my voice beguiling, or something, she thought that was deep, and real cool like. From then on out, it became my "go-to" line when I had no read on the sitchiation before me. And that got me to Funky Town, if youse know what I mean, that and some of Shoo Flies home grown and some chilled Muscatel. I have been waitin' on the sun for most of my life, yes indeed I has.

Blog Enjoyment

I hope this Blog brings you pleasure.
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Because I personally get a big freaking kick out of it.

Tuna Lips said...

I pleasures myselfs all kinda ways, thank yee very much.

Looking Forward to the 4th

The 4th of July comes on Friday this week. That's going to make for a short week. The Fourth is big in Marblehead and the Fireworks over the Harbor are always an event.
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I think that because Marblehead has a long history, and men from Marblehead were noted for their contribution to the Revolution, especially for their role in getting Washington's army across the Delaware, the 4th of July is an important time in the Town's collective subconscious.
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Should be a long weekend with some great cookouts and get togethers.

Secret to Success

"Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."

~ Calvin Coolidge

"Man is made or unmade by himself. By the right choice he ascends. As a being of power, intelligence, and love, and the lord of his own thoughts, he holds the key to every situation."

"Right thinking begins with the words we say to ourselves."

~ James Allen

There you have it. Visualize the results that you want and think positive thoughts about your goals and yourself. And persist. You will create your own success.... per your own definition.
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I will admit.... it's very hard to think positively. We are constantly bombarded with real or perceived slights, threats, and ill feelings. My technique for controlling negative thoughts is to realize that you are having them, accept them and forgive yourself for having them... then move on and try to think positively again. Not easy, but worth it.
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The persistence part speaks for itself. When you have realized what you want, relentlessly pursue it. The hard part here is to realize what you want. Because what you want in not necessarily what you need.
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So think good thoughts about what you want, for yourself and other people.... then persist in your goals.

Saturday Blahs

I thought that getting up at 5:30AM and rowing through the Harbor looking for fish would be a good thing.
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By 6:15 I was on the water, but there was a strong fog and a steady wind causing a two foot chop at the harbor mouth. Plus no fish.
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Pretty good exercise though. By ten o'clock, I was done messing around, and by eleven, I was good for nothing on the couch without an ambitious bone in my body. Kate and Mike showed up, but they headed for the basement couches right away.
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I really let this Saturday go by with little to show for it.

Carlin

George Carlin died this week.
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History will show that he was one of the purest thinkers of his generation.

Lean In

Lots of Leaning going on here.

Fine Revision

"It's time to start living the life you've imagined."
- Henry James

I pulled out of the tender rowing plan because of thunder, but tomorrow it will be break of Dawn... just me, the Tender and Stripers owning the Harbor.

POTW 25

I was wondering when Tuna Lips was going to make an appearance again and he came in a little close to over the top as usual. He seems to like it when I get a little agitated.
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It's after 4 o'clock on Fri. and I'm going to wind it down at Nanepashemet Telecom after a very promising week. Things are looking up. We're closing out the first six months of the year in excellent shape, but it's not time to let up.

ANNOUNCING
Nanepashemet Peeps of the Week for the 15th week of 2008

Abby Bruett
Joanne Nestor (Automatic Lagavulin Rule)
Courtney Lynch
Dwight Jennings
Mike Rockett
Carol Andrade

Hope that your half year went well too. Now I think that I'll take the Tender out for a spin in Marblehead Harbor since the tide is right.

Nantucket Nitwit

Peeps....
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I don't take vacations often, so you would think that they would be restful, stress free affairs. But that wasn't the case last year when I encountered Captain Dipshit administering XC ski permits in North Conway, and it wasn't the case in Nantucket either.
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It started out as a nice day with Joanne and I doing some tourist trap shopping. I bought some great XXL T-shirts that said "NANTUCKET" on them. What a lucky find!!
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By noon, all of the browsing had worn us down a bit, and we went into the Schooner on Easy St. for a light lunch.
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We sat on a bench at the wall, and two tables down was a precocious 4 year old, with his loud and overly enunciating mother. Our tyke was wielding a pirate pistol and sword and in no time had disassembled the curtain behind us.
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Naturally, Joanne and I were dispassionate and cool in our response to this annoyance.
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Then the little guy lost his sword under the bench, which required waitstaff help to retrieve.
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We were slightly peeved, but his obnoxious Mom didn't seem to mind.
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Then, "Little Asshole", as I now started to mentally refer to him, walks down the bench to me pointing his toy pistol.
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With restraint and reserve, I notioned that this was not cool to "LA". No response from Stupid Shit Mom, who was too busy doing anything but pay attention to Little Asshole...
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Now this little Annoying Little Future Loser of America walks on the bench right up to me and points the pistol an inch from my head. It seemed to have one of those suction cup darts on it or something.
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Naturally I kept my composure..... but I was hoping for a miracle that his father would appear, so I could pummel Dad's face to bloody mush until the police and ambulance arrived and carted him to the hospital and me away to a Nantucket lock up.
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No luck with this fantasy coming true though.
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So, turning to Little Asshole, I calming addressed Stupid Shit Mom saying, "Excuse me... Is this your SON???", figuring that she would take some responsive action.
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LA retreated to the comforting arms of Stupid Shit, who said nothing... neither to Joanne and I nor to Little Asshole. Idiots beget idiots.
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We continued eating our Buffalo Wings and Nachos as the Obnoxious Duo wisely decided to exit the Schooner.
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Peeps...
I know that a lot of you are new parents or will be shortly.

A few words of caution/advise.

• Nobody wants to hear you talking loudly to Little Precious so that you can demonstrate what a superior caregiver you are.
• Keep the inappropriate stupid toys out of public places, and teach your cute little tyke to stay in his own seat.
• Your kids are bound to act out of line from time to time, but that doesn't mean that you have to add to the problem by ignoring their behavior, or even acting like a role model for Idiots yourself.
  
• Bring your husband next time so that I won't look like a bully reprimanding you for the utter lack of control that you have, and I can take out my frustration on somebody my own size.

Joanne and I brought up our three kids, and I can safely say that they never acted like the Little Asshole.

Tuna Lips said...

I find whippin' out my weiner an effecacious rejoinder in such situations. It frightens off most people around. Its a gila monster, my most excellent friend. You take that dog out the pound and folks are rightly lockin' thems gates shut. That's how I roll.

Nantucket

Heading down to Nantucket today for a bid walk on a Coast Guard site. I've never been there, so I'm taking Joanne and we're going to stay for a day or so.
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I'll undoubtably post to the Blog while I'm there, so ease up on the anxiety and panic.
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Don't I deserve a little R&R once in a whle????

Now What???

If our primary purpose is to perpetuate the species, then I think my time is up.
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Joanne and I have raised three great kids... they make good choices and we have one incredible grandchild to undoubtably be followed by numerous others.
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A nice friend of mine just sent me pictures of her best friend's four beautiful girls, who have entered the workforce, are getting married, and are contributing to society. While I'm really happy and impressed by these beautiful people, it definitely causes a bit of insecurity.
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We've done our job. My generation has passed the torch. Now what the heck are we supposed to do???? My fervent hope is that some of the grandkids will want to learn how to build cedar strip boats.
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That will give me a good enough purpose I guess.