Remedy for Excessive Blog Hits

Peeps.
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I can tell from the excessive amounts of hits lately that some of you are a bit obsessed with this Nanepashemet Blog.   Not that I can blame you.  It's beyond the capabilities of most of you not to be enamored with the exploits and ideas of a Mountain of a Man like me.
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But excessive searching on this Blog can be injurious to your health... kind of like the four hour stiffy that Viagara ads warn you about.
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Part of the problem is that the average Peep tends to think that every vaguely worded post is all about them personally.... which portends the huge ego and mental feeblemindedness that this pathetic blog seems to attract.
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And the frustration that this engenders is horrific, especially when the hapless Blog Reader finally reaches the conclusion that the Blog is not about them at all... that they are insignificant and minute blobs of protoplasm hopelessly trying to find meaning within the digital ramblings of a MOAM, and getting no satisfaction whatsoever.
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After extensive consultation with some of the finest psychologists, self- help quacks and acupuncturists in the ten mile radius around my house, I have come to the following suggestion.
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Don't look for meaning from me.... send money instead.
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Each time you Google "Nanepashemet", send a $10 cash money American Bill in the mail directly to me.
After a while, you will be so broke that you won't be able to buy food, and the hunger will aid in a gradual decline in the number of daily blog hits that you make.
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And don't think you can get around this by Googling "John Nestor Marblehead"  or " Mountain of a Man" instead of  "Nanepashemet".  You must send the ten spot cash to get the cure.   And for God sakes, don't even think of leaving a comment  (unless you are Tuna Lips, of course) .... that could cost you thousands.
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If you want to risk screwing with the IRS, you can write off the payments to charity.  Because I will be using the money to fund the MOAM Foundation.... dedicated to the financial well being of me....  easily the most worthy charity that you could donate to.
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And when you relapse, just double up on the payments.  Don't think of yourself as a Loser... just a recovering Nanepashaholic.