Peeps... I don't mean to disappoint you.... but you won't see me ever running for political office... now or forever.
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Can you imagine the lines of losers who would be accusing me of all types of harassment and assault? They would have to install turnstiles and use card readers to process them all.
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First of all, let me categorically deny each and every bogus claim that they make.... before they make them.
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I didn't do it... I swear. And even if I did... I don't remember it.
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There is a vast conspiracy to sabotage my candidacy and to downgrade my status as a legitimate living Mountain of a Man legend.
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So to pre-empt all of the lies, innuendoes, and finger pointing.... I'll just end my candidacy before it even starts.
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Sometimes being a Mountain of a Man means that you sidestep landing on shit before everything begins to stink.
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