So I'm feeling a little guilty because I XC skied on the groomed trails behind our condominium without picking up a pass.
~
After checking the web on how to obtain a pass, I find out that North Conway residents and taxpayers are supposed to have a free pass.
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You would think that I was applying for a visa to Afganistan by the loser counter geek at Ragged Mountain Sports where you are supposed to pick up the passes. After showing him a Town of Conway correspondence that was addressed to Joanne, he asked if that was my name.
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Naturally, I kept my cool.
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I said "No, that's my spouse. See the address? It's the same address as mine on the license that I'm showing you."
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Captain Dipshit took a least two minutes studying the license and the letter, then he said that I needed a current bill from the Town.
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Again, I maintained my kind and courteous disposition.
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I asked him to look us up on the web. We are taxpayers in Conway and have been for 15 years.
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Seeing that I wasn't going to leave, our Moron of the Hour pulled out a printout of taxpayers, and lo and behold, there was Joanne's name. So he says, "It says Joanne and not John."
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Now, I disclosed a tiny bit that I was starting to get annoyed by this useless sack of monkey shit, and I asked him if I should just get a pass for Joanne.
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Lieutenant Dork then opined that it seemed like he could give me a pass, but that the internet was wrong and that it would cost $15.00.
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Now I was downright pissed, and required all of the self control that I could muster, because this Asshole deserves to have his head ripped off so that I can wipe his ass with his own face.
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But again, I exhibited appropriate restraint.
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Mega Dink took my picture with a polaroid camera and laminated a freaking season's pass, handing it to me and wishing me a nice day.
~

So Captain Dipshit, enjoy your bureaucratic powerhouse position as Bitch of the XC Trail passes.
~
I pray to GOD to find you alone out on the groomed course.
Jay,
When you are POTY does every major newspaper want a piece of you? How does one obtain anonymity? I might have to speak with either Tuna Lips or McMahon for some advice.....
http://www.wickedlocal.com/marblehead/news/lifestyle/celebrations/x1971619227
Heh heh, every ding dong day is hump day for ole TL! Positive visualization is a practice I employ on regular like. It does not pay to reflect on your current situation when you are surrounded my a gang of illegal aliens with bicycle chains and razors (it was her that gave me them crabs, and all 300 pounds of her will not get me to admit otherwise!). But as I was expounding, you have to visualize the things that you want, like world peace or an unatended Hostess delivery truck, in order to actuate that premonition. Only then can the things that others claim I am taking without right truly become mine by virtue of my self actualized majesty.
It was like those teenagers I was holding in my cabin out by the creek.