Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Bonus Good Time

Joanne and I brought some Nanepashemet Telecom customers to the Boston Yacht Club last night for drinks and dinner. Usually, I pretend to have a good time at these customer activities, but last night, the good time was for real.
~
What a bonus!

Tuna Lips said...

Well bully fer you, Admiral Crotchrot, and yer yacht club jerk off party. I figger this plain folk will wine and dine with my clientelists at Red Lobster on Rowt 142, and retire to Hooters for an after supper round of shooters and boobies with the spray on tan. No economic down turn for thems at Hooters.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Tournament Results

All day long, people kept asking me how I golfed yesterday at the Salem State Tournament with Tommy O.
~
First things first.
~
Tommy got through the whole day without a single kidney stone..... That was a relief!!
~
The Kernwood Country Club in Salem is a nice track - very well maintained with fairways that aren't too long and generally open wide.
~
I actually had a good day. My bad back held up, and I shot three Pars including one Birdie attempt..( which I then three putted into a Double Bogy).
~
My crusher driver skills returned and I generally kept straight onto the fairway with only one miss hit. Our last hole was a Par 3 that awarded a Chevy hybrid ugly car for a hole in one. I parred the hole and then tried to bribe the Salem State Honor students to say it was a winner hole in one. They maintained their integrity, even though I raised the ante to $40 bucks.
~
All in all... A golf round that I had anticipated with considerable dread turned into an enjoyable day. Only lost two balls..... Maybe I can golf after all. At least, not suck as much.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Stephan's Ginger Beer Difference

Wojcik and Brown graced the gazebo of the Boston Yacht Club yesterday.... and had their first Dark and Stormies
~
There were no incidents and my membership remains in good standing.
~
We ran into Chris Crawford, MegaPeep Brian Butler and the Fabulous Stacey, who is due to bring a new Nanepashemet Peep into the world by the end of the summer. Can't wait for that to happen, even though we don't want the summer to end too fast. What a conundrum!
~
They make the Dark and Stormies at the BYC with Stephan's Ginger Beer, rather than Barrett's. Stephan's is just a little more pungent and the Two Bob's may have found it to be a bit too strong for their delicate sensibilities.
~
But they both toughed it out... each having two before retiring back to the WhaleEye for some more of the Lagavulin that Brown so thoughtfully brought.
~
Tomorrow, I agreed to play in the Salem State College Golf Tournament on behalf of the Salem Waterfront Hotel. Mike Rockett sent over a highest quality Footjoy shirt, Jacket and Umbrella. Doesn't he remember that I suck at Golf??? Truly SUCK!!!
~
At least I'll be looking good, but that goes without saying.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Cruise gets Stoned

So we plan a nice evening harbor cruise with Tommy O and his lovely wife Linda, and what happens???
~
Tommy gets a freaking kidney stone!
~
Just because he's doubled over in pain, we have to return to the Village Landing.
~
Wouldn't you think that he could tough it out??? I mean.... how bad can a little kidney stone hurt anyway?
~
Regardless of the nuisance, I swiftly brought him to the dock and cancelled the night's festivities. I can be the bigger man. Then, just to rub it in, Tommy gets rushed to the Salem Hospital Emergency Room.
~
The nerve of some people!
~
I hope he's alright though.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

POTW Week 28 - The Reinstatement

Once again, Bobby Brown has shown us why he is such a Mountain of a MAN, a Man Among Boys, Massive against the Mediocre Marginals.
~
No one.... I mean NOBODY!!!.... Not One of you Pathetic Peeps picked up the fact that I neglected to pick the POTW's last week..... except for our man, Bobby Brown.
~
It wasn't a test. I really screwed up, what with the Thurs wind down for the Friday Fourth of July holiday. I'm not making an excuse.... just stating a fact. I blew it.
~
But none of you noticed. So who's more pathetic... me or you Peeps????
~
Bobby Brown excluded of course.
~
For once, I feel like what it must feel to be one of you. OH MY GOD!!!

ANNOUNCING....
Nanepashemet Peeps of the Week for the 28th week of 2008

John Shaw
DeAnna Pappas
Chris Crawford
Bob Brown
Pete Endres
Parker Sides

What a shock to my system!.. It will take a while to recuperate.

Jesse's Open Mike


Has anybody ever stuck his foot in his mouth more that the Rev. Jesse Jackson?
~
Calls New York "Hymietown", wants to cut Barack's Nuts off!!!!
~
Everybody has their private, gutteral remarks that they don't really mean. Our prayer is that they don't bubble to the surface.
~
I've said crude things that I didn't truly believe, just to get a reaction or laugh, and I've seen those close to me do the same. But I don't propose to speak on behalf of a segment of the American political spectrum.

For a guy like Jackson, who always tries to hog the moral high ground, it has to be especially embarrassing to have his private comments exposed.
~
Guaranteed... He'll get caught again.

Tuna Lips said...

Such concernations is for the hypocrite types out there. TL lets it fly, and doeth thereby take the moralizin' high ground to which naamby paamby dreamers like Jessie only claim. I am on the peak, with my rod and my staff!

I aint got no fruitcake rainbow symboyl, but I have a dream myself.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Great Barrier Reef Crisis

I'm sitting here watching some cable show about a type of starfish that is sucking the life out of the Great Barrier Reef coral in Australia.
~
Excuse me, but I just don't give a shit.
~
Sorry, but I can't worry about everything. If the coral gets screwed up, I can live with it.
~
I think I care more about who the Bachelorette chose for her Soulmate than the Great Barrier Reef. That's how bad I don't give a shit.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Hypothermia

Some friends of ours had a crack in the hull of their fishing boat and luckily made it back to the dock in time for a pump out. It could easily have sunk.
~
The first question that I asked was if they put their life jackets on. They said , "No" because they could swim.
~
Wrong answer..... Wicked, Stupid, Wrong Answer!
~
I don't care if you are Mark Spitz.... sixty degree water will put you into a hypothermic state in an amazingly short period of time... you will lose your ability to reason and think, and you will grow incredibly weak. In short order, you will drown and die.
~
The minute something dangerous happens on a boat in the New England ocean, put on your lifejacket first...

Monday, July 07, 2008

Gag Me With a Spoon

Joanne sucked me into watching a whole episode of "The Bachelorette".
~
DeAnna Pappas is a decent looking female of Greek extraction from Georgia. She's got these two idiots, Jason and SnowBoard Boy, saying every sappy line that has ever been invented to get her to accept their marriage proposal.
~
"I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
"I never thought I could feel this way."
"She is my soulmate."
~
Where do they find such ASSHOLES?????
~
To think that I'm almost ready to waste some perfectly good vomit over these three losers.
~
That is what really chokes me up.
~
BTW, she picked SnowBoard Boy.... that's who I was rooting for all along.

Tuna Lips said...

Thems lines was ripped from chapter 3 of the TL Book of Gettin' Some - "I Will Respect You in The Mornin'". Shucks.

Not Keepers


Apparently this guy, John Shaw, has been going all around town boasting about his fishing prowness and we've even heard about it up here in Marblehead!
~
BTW, John, those schoolie stripers aren't keepers.... even three of those wouldn't add up to one keeper.
~
You're going to have to fish a lot more.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Refreshment at the Dolphin

The weekend July 4th weather has been just short of crappy. No rain, but constantly overcast and cool.... not the summer beach day that you look for during this holiday.
~
Joanne and I watched the fireworks at the Dolphin Yacht Club deck with Lynda and Will Murray.
~
As is my custom at these places, I sampled the Dark and Stormies that the Dolphin served. I actually had quite a few samples to see if there were any variations in quality. There were not.
~
Joanne liked the Gin and Tonics so much that she drank them until she didn't like them anymore.
~
We had lots of fun.

Wojcik Said...
IT seems the Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility does not apply to the Hairy One!

Friday, July 04, 2008

July 4th Reflections

The Roman Empire lasted for 1400 years. Makes the American Republic of 233 years seem like a baby... which it is in historical terms. One of the important things to consider is that the Roman Empire ended.
~
Will America last? It's been constantly changing since it's shaky beginning, revolting against the dominant world power of it's time, Great Britain.
~
Now we are a country that wields massive power, enough to the destroy the earth's inhabitants. We are self righteous in the use of that power and cause resentment in other nations which is hard to comprehend at times.
~
Exactly why did the Al Queda group decide to commit the murder of thousands of Americans? That is not clear to most of us... particulary to me.
~
And America's disproportionate comsumption of the Earth's resources certainly cannot last. The emergence of Asia to modern consumer economies will certainly affect the current American system. We cannot continue with our reliance on fossil fuels, although the conversion to solar, and fuel cells seems to be ready technologically.
~
Will America Last? Certainly for the forseeable future. But it will have to evolve and adapt, as it has been doing for that last 2 1/3 centuries.

Tuna Lips said...

To thems of us that have not just fallen off the cabbage cart, its perty plain to see that them arabs wants our money and our porn.

They thinks we gots no allegiance. But you gimme a stack of nuddie magazines and a bunch of rutting, jobless high school drop out, and Ise shows you right quick how to open a can of wupp ass and what this here country is made out of. Take a bar of soap an civilmalize them summinbitches.