Merrimack Football Tournament results

So I receive hundreds of emails from you Peeps asking how I golfed yesterday. Since you already know that I suck, you can imagine how irritating this is.
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I pretty much delivered on my reputation, although I did have to carry the foursome on my back on a number of occasions. The "Crusher" was in attendance and managed to mangle a few of the dimpled spheroids.
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Bob "Mountain of a Man" Brown was clearly off his PGA rated standard game, and Bob "the Insidious" Wojcik (the one who screwed up my knee) was not particularly impressive. But they totally redeemed themselves by giving me a fifth of Lagavulin which obviously has automatic POTW connotations.
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The one bright spot was talented newcomer, Jeff Previte of EBI Consulting, who consistently rained vulgar insults on himself after every other shot. Quite entertaining.
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At least we cleaned up on the raffle at dinner after the game, with three winners out of five tickets. I gave Ben Martin, the worthy Merrimack Offensive Line Coach, one of the prizes... a collapsable gadget that holds thirty beer cans. I'm sure he can get some use out of it.
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All in all, the Merrimack Football team stands a little taller today, and Nanepashemet Telecom was happy to oblige.