Day Off

Tomorrow... I'm taking the day off.
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Do you hear that World????    I won't be answering your calls, paying your bills or reading your emails.
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So Don't freaking bug me.
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I've got some personal stuff to take care of.

Official Mortgage Broker Endorsement

It's been awhile since we've made an addition to the Nanepashemet Official Endorsements, but the events of the day have caused this delay to end here and now.
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Many of you know Superpeep Scuba Steve Lewis, his trophy wife Jill, and his beautiful new born daughter, Kiley.  What you may not have known about Steve is that he is the best darn mortgage broker this side of the Pecos.
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But now you know, because we have a new Nanepashemet Official Endorsement.
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• Official Mortgage Broker of Nanepashemet - Scuba Steve Lewis.

Weiner's Junk

I'm sorry, but I have to sound in on this Weiner episode.
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I think that this whole controversy has God's sense of humor written all over it.  It has to be through divine intervention that we have this stupid scandal that involves a guy named "Weiner. "  It could only be better if his name was "Schlong."
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And his suffering wife is the top aide to none other than Hillary Clinton, whose husband, Bill the President, liberated all of us who used to think that getting a blow job was having sexual relations.  I was driving in a California Bay Area canyon at 5:30 AM going to the airport to catch a flight when I heard Hillary proclaim that Bill didn't have sex with that intern and that he was the victim of a "vast right wing conspiracy".  
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For some reason, that time and place is frozen in my consciousness.... along with the day I heard Kennedy was shot, and the Space Shuttle exploded.
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This stuff could never stand as a work of fiction.  It's too unbelievable.   Thus, I leave it up to God to conjure up this shit.
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That observation aside....
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If a corporate employee was caught posting his junk on Facebook, he would be fired.
If a student was caught, he would be expelled.
If I was caught, my wife would slice my gonads cleanly yet painfully from my crotch as I was serenely snoring away.
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But this Weiner says that he didn't do anything illegal, and won't resign his seat from Congress.
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I guess he has been a faily outspoken liberal democrat from a district the includes Brooklyn and Queens, and he says that he will let the voters decide his fate.  In other words, he's pretty certain that a majority of his constutuents are pervs  like he is and will see him through this little junk bump.
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Let's retrace our steps here.
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A Congressman named Weiner sends pictures of schlong to a half dozen women on Facebook.
He lies and says he didn't do it, then cries and says he did.
But, no biggie. 
He won't quit the Congress and has his bet hedged that his constituents will "hang" with him.
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I think I have it straight now.
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This is a good one....What else you got, God???.

Blog Upgrade

Peeps... there is some good news for you who search the web on your mobile device.  Up to now, this pathetic yet venerable blog has looked pretty crappy on an iPhone.   But not anymore!!!!
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There is a cool new mobile device interface that makes the Nanepashemet Blog a fulfilling yet disturbing expeience on your Droid or iPod.   Now your annoying addiction can be fed while on the go during your listless existence.
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That's progress!

Feeling the Fury

On the way to New Haven, at Route 84 just south of the Massachusetts Turnpike there  is incredible evidence of just how powerful a tornadoe is.   It looked like a giant weedwhacker was used to cut an uneven swath through a mature hardwood forest on both sides of the road.
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The trees were pushed around in a haphazard fashion and most of them were snapped in half about twenty feet from the ground.  But they were not snapped cleanly and the tall standing trunks had frayed shards of wood dangling from them.   This thing must have hit so fast and with so much initial force to snap hardwood -trees in half ....midway up the trunks... and then uproot and push them around like so many matchsticks.
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The havoc stretched about 100 feet wide but unevenly and there was a heavily damaged house and garage nearby.  You could feel the force and fury that would have rumbled across the highway and caused such destruction.
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Scratch that.  I can't imagine what it must have been like to rip a path like this.
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By the end of the day, I felt like I must have imagined the scene but on the drive home, there it was again... no exaggeration.

No Trust Funds

Off to New Haven tomorrow morning.  Not a ride I'm looking forward to, but it makes sense business wise.  So I'll gladly make the trek and survey about five sites for Nanepashemet Telecom before turning the F150 back for the three hour drive to Marblehead.
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It would be nice if I had some trust funds ready to kick in, and didn't have to bang away at this making a living routine, but none of my ancestors saw fit to endow me with a chunk of money to kick back with, and at this rate, I will be doing the same for those in my own downline.
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What the hell.  If I had a trust fund, I'd probably just be wasting more time on this pathetic blog.

Poison Ivy

Heading out to FreshAyer with the Grandkids.   I've positively determined through a Google search that I contracted poison ivy last week and a nice rash has developed on my lower legs.
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Not to worry.  It is not contagious nor is it lfe threatening.

Good Mood Morning

Woke up in a good mood this morning.
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Then Joanne starts sarcastically asking me, "Why are you in such a good mood?"
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Which pissed me off a little.....
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So now I'm feeling kind of regular.
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Anyway... Today I have to hang the doors on the storage sheds that I built recently, then I will tile the kitchen counter backsplash, then I will scrape the pram to get it ready for painting and launch next week.
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Which again would question why the good mood.  But the grandkids are due by and their Uncle Mikey and Auntie Kate will be in to see them too.   So that trumps all the other stuff.

Warning to Fish

There have been a lot of inquiries lately about when the WhaleEye will be launched on the mooring in Salem Harbor.  I've been in no hurry this year.  But I finally got around to getting my work order into Ryan Marine and the legendary fishing machine will be in the water next week.
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Fish will soon die.

Do the Time

John Edwards, the former Presidential candidate, is expected to be indicted  today because of misuse of campaign funds.   His wife died of cancer after throwing him out for fathering a child with a bimbo that he used campaign money to conceal.

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Plus he's a Democrat.
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Man... What a Mess!!! 

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Apparently he is really scared about going to prison and was trying to get the Bimbo, Rialle Whats-Her-Name, to marry him so that a "wife" couldn't testify against him as a husband.   She probably planned to live with him in the Big House anyway, although the White House is not exactly the Big House domicile that they're heading to..

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Advice to John.... Do the time.   Lose The Bimbo.  You don't get out of DoDo by piling on more shit.  And try to keep your Pussy Ass Face out of the media if possible.

The Purpose of Powerwashing

I don't have time to give you a thoughtful blog entry tonight.
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First of all... I don't feel like writing anything.   The Bruins lost, we had tornadoes all over Western Mass, and I spent most of the day preparing the tax information for the Sundance Pre-School.   I hate anything about taxes, and working on them is always a downer.  So I'm not in the mood for any upbeat shit, despite my recent exhortations.
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Plus... I have to deliver my power washer over to Dale and Gales' so that they can powerwash their deck.   Obviously they're rubbing it in that we don't have a deck here at the Sundance house, so we might as well let them use the powerwasher.
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Being a Mountain of a Man means that your have to overcome an insult or a slight from time to time.  I'll let them use it anyway.

A Simple Choice

The other day I got an email from one of you pathetically misguided peeps, asking me one of the annoying personal questions that I occasionally have to endure.
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Naturally, I don't overreact to this type of malfeasance.  Being a Mountain of a Man means that you have to have patience when those of lesser bearing seek out your advice and  consolation.  And as you know, I'm always up to the task.... at least most of the time.
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So to paraphrase this sorry solicitation, it went something like this.... "Master J.  How come you are always in control, never seem to lose the faith, always upbeat, never down in spite of all of your troubles and challenges?"
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I wish there was an easy answer.   Something like... "Silly Rabbit... Trix are for kids!"
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But life isn't a freaking cereal commercial.   This is for real, and it's not God Damned sugar coated either, with fruity crunchiness inside.   So I overcame my contempt for this invasion of my sanctum santorum, and decided to dish out a straight answer.  And this is it.
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In about a hundred years, you will be gone without a trace.  No one will remember you.  No one will even know that you are dead.  Your kids will be dead.  Their kids... your grandkids... will be old at best and won't have a clue where you are buried.
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Nothing that you said will be known.... no one will know or care whether your bills were paid, or whether your promises were kept.
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And if you think that I'm off base on this.... then tell me what your great-grandfather's first name is.   This is a person who had all of the hopes and fears that you do.  Probably looked like you, and had your same types of thoughts and mannerisms.   Don't feel bad, because I don't know mine either.    Yet if he hadn't been born,  you wouldn't be sitting here, wringing your hands and reading this pathetic blog.   And you don't know Jack about him... not even his first name.
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So to get back to the original self centered, neurotic and annoying question.... you have a simple choice in this minor piece of consciousness in the midst of human existence that you call your life.  Joy or Sorrow.  Good Will or Evil. Contentment or Grumpiness.  It is entirely up to you and nobody else is to blame.  No matter how bad it seems that other people screw with you, it is your choice to pick the emotions to react to them.
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So make the best choice, the one that benefits you the best, and makes you feel good.  And the only way to feel good is to stay upbeat.   Because, despite all or your ego centric drama, a hundred years from now, you just won't count.   Might as well enjoy the ride.

Canucks

The Bruins begin the Stanley Cup Champion Ice Hockey Series against the Vancouver Canucks tonight in Boston.   Mike has tickets but I think he might be on a sales trip.  It's always exciting when a Boston team plays for a championship.   We love our pro teams here.  
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Plus the Canucks have a backup goalie named Cory Schneider, who is from Marblehead.   I remember him playing for Mike's High School Hockey team here when he was a Freshman, and followed his career as he excelled at Phillips Academy, Junior Hockey, and Boston College.  It will be an exciting series and a good reason to watch hockey in June.
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BTW, doesn't the name "Canucks" seem a little politically incorrect?  I mean, if it was a Japanese team called the Tokyo "Gooks" or an Italian team called the Milan "Warps".... wouldn't you think there would be some raised eyebrows???? 
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But apparently, Canadians are fine with being called "Canucks".   What would you call a Black Canadian hockey player anyway?... an African-Canadian?  It's easy to get confused these days as we temper our freedom of speech with political correctness.
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I've actually been to Vancouver.  It's a beautiful  city in the Pacfic Northwest. with a strong Asian influence due to an influx of Chinese immigrants when Hong Kong was transitioning to Communist control.  Ate some great dim sum there... delicious Chink food.

Thinking of Those Who Fell

Every year on Memorial Day, I have a need to post something about the significance of the day.  It's because  the day evokes such mixed emotions.  
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It's the start of summer, a day off, grilling, having beers with friends.... but it is given to us by those lost their lives in the service of our country.  So, as much as I enjoy the day, I also feel a little guilty about having such a fun and relaxing time.... thinking about those who fell to preserve our country.

POTW Week 21

It's been one of the nicest Memorial Day weekends that I can remember weatherwise.
We've taken advantage of it on the porch of the BYC and will undoubtably be gracing the Corinthian soon as well.
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Announcing....
Nanepashemet Peeps of the Week for the 21st week of 2011.

Brendt D'Orio
Will Crawford
Katelyn Nestor
Jessica Rincon
Nancy Kerrigan
Lindsay Kepnes Joffe
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I'll be spending more and more time on the porches.

Otherwise, the power washer will be the focus of this morning's activity within the driveway, with the tender and the pram getting a thorough washdown to get them ready for varnish and paint.    I also want to powerwash the boulder stock for the stone wall in order to identify seams for spltting.

Euphoria

Red Sox are in first place.
Sarah Palin is running.
It's fishing season.
All is right with the world.
Life is good.
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Now if we could only get the boy out of FreshAyer, my euphoria would be complete.
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Go Bruins!

Modern Family

My favorite comedy, now that McHale's Navy is off the air, is Modern Family.  It's on with back to back episodes for an hour tonight.

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I've always liked Ed O'Neill, since Married With Children and also his appearance in Wayne's World.  And his wife in the series, Sofia Vergara, is both hot and hilarious.   I'm too lazy to type out what I like about the rest of the cast, but I really like them too.

Sudden Death

Every morning lately, we've been waking up to horrific stories of killer tornadoes in the Midwest.  The death toll is up to about 500 people this year.  There is obviously a change in atmospheric patterns that is spurring these violent storms that randomly cut a small swarth of destruction .
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Apparently these things can formulate quickly and sneak up on you.   Tornadoe alarms are frequently drowned out by the roar of the winds, and buildings get torn apart and leveled in minutes.
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The odds of getting killed by a tornadoe are infintesmal, which probably is not much solace to the 500 or so that are the grim statistics this year.   Death is a part of life.... but sudden death always seems too harsh.
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My prayers go to the families of sudden death victims.

Almost Over Oprah

Oprah is supposedly shutting her show down this week... And shutting it down... and shutting it down.
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What a freaking good bye.
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That women is a money machine.   She'll make more money saying goodbye than most of us will make throughout our entire working life. 
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Part of me wants to be aggravated by Oprah.  Lots of self aggrandisement and stuff.   But the other part of me stands in total awe and admirataion of the way she has succeeded in her career and touched so many people.
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So she gets a pass for the aggravation part.

One True Religion

I actually got sucked into a conversation about religion yesterday.  Apparently there are a lot of people who have taken this "end of days" dialog seriously.
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I'm not one of them.
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It is so pretentious for any man, Pope, or pauper, to claim to have the inside track on God's purpose and truth.  And also dangerous.   Because as soon as you get people claiming to act for God's side, then the atrocity to others begins.  They can kick the shit out of you because they are on the side of the Lord.
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Can anyone say "Islamic Jihad"?
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American Indians took the brunt of the largess of European Christianity.  And I wouldn't have wanted to be a Jew during the Spanish Inquisition.
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The truth to me is that there is no one solid truth.  Right and Wrong, Good and Bad are constantly evolving and changing.  Walls and rules come up and are knocked down.  The Taoists have tried to represent this fluidity with their intertwined circle symbol.

But I bet people have been killed over this as well.