Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Chasing Cain

If you want to get on the TV news, have a deer run through your home of business and get it on film.  The second most popular technique seems to be saying that Herman Cain made a pass at you.
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Both methods are highly successful and good for a news story every week or so.
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Both are also only possible due to the high levels of communication in this internet, information age.
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Deer have been crashing into buildings for years, but surveillance cameras are relatively new.  And politicians have been trying to get laid for quite a while as well, but it has never been so widely reported.  
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I don't care too much about the deer, but the politicians part has me perplexed.  If we rejected our leaders due to their sexual proclivities, we never would have had guys like John Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Franklin Roosevelt, Dwight Eisenhower, and Bill Clinton wielding positions of power.
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Now if Herman Cain smashed through a store window chasing a deer..... that would be real news.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Out of the Haze

It was time to break out of the Thanksgiving Holiday Haze today, and I think I pulled it off.  The key was to touch all of the outstanding projects and get responses and inquiries out on everything.  Then the emails and phone calls kick in in response to your action and it is off to the races.
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By 1:30 PM or so, it was like you never took a four day eating and drinking overindulgence binge with virturally no redeeming activity in between.
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I even ate right today... keeping clear of carbs and getting 20 min. on the Cybex.
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Made a Doctor's appointment for Jan 30, 2012 which is two days prior the end of the FreshAyer ordeal, and it seems like the two months between here and then might be nice period of time to get my weight and blood pressure down through a little self denial and discipline.
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This time, the only thing that I can guarantee is that I'll try.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Dump Etiquette

In a concerted effort to fend off the Thanksgiving Haze, I loaded up the the F150 for a much needed trip to the dump.,
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The Marblehead Transfer Station, aka the Dump, is  a tight turnaround with a scale and a hydraulic packing unit that has a one car wide entrance.  In a perfect world, you would pull into the turnaround, neatly back up to the packing unit pit, efficiently dump your trash, and quickly drive away.
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But at the Marblehead Dump... it's not a freaking perfect world.
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It could be though, if people would only practice some simple dump etiquette. 
  • Like when you back up to the hydraulic pit, get out of your vehicle promptly and get to the business of dumping your crap.  
  • And you may want to move a little faster than a snail with the flu while you discard your trash from your vehicle. 
  • And you should refrain from striking up a neighborly conversation in between throwing your trash while other people, aka me, are waiting patiently to use the pit.
  • And when you're done dumping your shit, you really shouldn't stay at the pit to sweep your BMW station wagon clean and dust free while parked at the pit.
  • And when you're done taking up my time, while you primp and preen your dumping experience.... it would be nice if you moved your ass just a tad quicker to get back into your soccer mom bus and pull the hell out of the pit area.
Listen Asshole....
Your didn't lease some time at the freaking dump pit.  It's not like your timeshare in Cabo.   Get the Phuck In and get the Phuck Out and stop wasting my Phucking TIME!
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I love to go to the Dump.  You meet the nicest people.... and they meet you.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Dysfunctional Family

I heard a comment made the other day about dysfunctional families.  Something about how she didn't know any family that wasn't dysfunctional in some way.
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Peeps... I don't want to go all spiritual and metaphysical on you.... but I am 99.99% positive that we are not placed in this peculiar DNA arrangement on an isolated spinning planet to be "functional".  This existance is a challenge issued by the omnipotent Universal Force (aka God) to experience particular circumstances in the Earth medium. 
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We don't experience the challenges by being "functional".
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The "dysfunctional" part is the one thing that makes sense of it all.
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So embrace your own version of "dysfunctional".   Everybody has it and yours is here for your own unique God given reasons for you to work on.   And above all, never be embarassed about your Dysfunctional Family.  Anybody who looks down on you are just trying to deny how phucked up that they, themselves, really are.
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And BTW... if this doesn't fit into the constraints of traditional Christian, Jewish, Muslm, etc. faith... take a look at it.  Change the names to fit the boxes that you believe in, and you might end up agreeing with me.


Tuna Lips said...

That there is some deep shit yer shov'lin.

POTW Week 47

A slow day... the day after Thanksgiving.  Because we are so blessed, we had way too much to eat causing a sluggish, passifying, general feeling of inertia.  But we're  not going so slow that we can't live up to our responsibilities.
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In many ways, this week is the most important of the year for practicing Nanepashemet Peeps.....  what with the inspirational yet annoying night before Bash with it's overindulgence, baudiness and lack of good taste all rolled into one raucous night of celebration.
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I do enjoy it so.
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ANNOUNCING....
Nanepashemet Peeps of the Week for the 47th week of 2011

Kerry D'Orio
Brendt D'Orio (Automatic Lagavulin Rule)
Maria Rowen (Automatic Lagavulin Rule)
Mark Vona (Automatic Lagavulin Rule)
Will Crawford
Brady Boyle

So another Bash goes into the record books.  It was the first at the Sundance House and won't be the last.  Next year, we welcome back the prodical son to this most solemn and esteemed occasion.





Thursday, November 24, 2011

Inspirational Automatic Action

I know that many of you are wondering about the Bash aftermath since there were no incidents that would induce a police report.
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Suffice it to say that the Bash was a total, absolute, unequivocal success. 
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How else would you describe it when three classy Peeps came forward with the ultimate token of appreciation... the gift of Lagavulin 16 year old Single Malt Scotch?
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Since Tommy O had made the gesture a few days earlier, four bottles graced out countertop by the end of the evening.   Maria Rowen had made the initial gift, but since it was gift wrapped and presented in a nonpretentious fashion by leaving it on the counter, I didn't realize her gift until after she had left.   Thank you so much Maria.  You are certainly worthy of your Automatic Peep of the Week status.
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Brendt D'Orio was next to show up graced with the King.  We also gave him his first glass and he had a nice response.   Then Mark Vona, coach/teacher/exceptional fisherman, walked in with an additional bottle of the King.  Pure class  shown by Brendt and Mark, and I will gratefully bestow your Automatic designation in the next few days. 
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So we have completely restored our Lagavulin stock though the truly inspirational actions of Maria, Tommy, Mark and Brendt.
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I am almost moved to tears.

Maria Rowen said...
Ah...Achieving the Automatic...Can a Peep ever portend to pretend that POTW is not the highest of all honors?...No...We all covet the consideration. So today let's give thanks to the King of Scotch, the MoaM and the Queen of last night's Culinary Cabaret...Joanne...November 23, 2011.



Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Final Bash Prep

Tommy O dropped by last night with the tent and two gallons of his brother's award winning Bobby Byrnes Clam Chowder.  We set up the 10' x 10' tent on the deck over the turkey fryer last night and it survived an inch of rain and some major wind gusts.
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So this morning, I'm going to make the dough for the White Trash Balls, get to the Marblehead Post office to mail some certified public hearing notification letters, then over to the oral surgeon to extract that infected wisdom tooth.  On the way home from the Dentist, I'll pick up the ice and some firewood.
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Then it will be limited activity until 5:30 PM when we fire up the turkey frier, cut the chicken wings, crack a beer and wait for you Peeps to show.
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Soon the 2011 Night Before Thanksgiving Bash will be a hazy memory.

Jim L. said...

I'll check out the the Channel 7 news at 11. They usually have the spectacular stuff.

Homer Winslow - Dorys - circa 1880


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  • Tuesday, November 22, 2011

    Pulling Teeth

    A few weeks ago, I broke a crown in my lower left molar.   Not a big deal and I finally got to the dentist this morning.  One look in my mouth, and he uttered a large "WHOA!"
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    Peeps... although you may know me as a Mountain of a Man, even guys like me can get a little unnerved when your dentist gasps at the first glance at your choppers.
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    His prognosis????  Make an appointment with an oral surgeon and get your infected wisdom tooth extracted right away.... today if possible.  A call to the surgeon revealed that today wouldn't work, it would have to be tomorrow.
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    Don't these guys know that the Bash is tomorrow???? Maybe the the most hallowed calendar event of the year for Nanepashemet Peeps of all persuasions?  There are things in life that are a bit more important than a freaking impacted wisdom tooth.   Who will fry the wings?  Who will make dough for the White Trash Balls?  I have to believe that yanking a tooth in the morning shouldn't impede these more important responsibilities.
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    Once again.... I have to thank the Good Lord for blessing me with my superior Mountain of a Man abilities.  Go ahead and yank the tooth... and you might as well throw in a colonoscopy while you're at it.    It will take more than that to derail the 2011 Night Before Thanksgiving Bash.

    WTB Protection

    Can't say that this is a short work week because I got about a week's worth of work done yesterday in a highly productive 14 hours for Nanepashemet Telecom.
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    Let's just say that if I blew off today and tomorrow before the Thanksgiving Holiday, I wouldn't be giving it a moment's notice.
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    But we'll cover some details anyway during this pre-Bash period.   There is plenty of processing left due to all that productivity.
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    After that, all attention must be to Bash prep.  The rain forecast is no problem, because Tommy O is coming by with at 10' x 10' tent which will fit nicely on the deck.  This is crucial because you can't let the White Trash Balls get wet and soggy.

    Saturday, November 19, 2011

    POTW Week 46

    As is often the case, I spoke too soon with my Lagavulin post yesterday as Tommy O showed why he is a worthly POTY and dropped by with a bottle of Lagavulin freshly picked from a New Hampshire liquor store.
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    Was Tommy feeling a little guilty after putting my health in jeopardy by taking me to the Patriots game in Foxboro????
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    Don't know and frankly don't care.
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    As far as I'm concerned, he has totally redeemed himself and then some!!!!

    ANNOUNCING...
    Nanepashemet Peeps of the Week for the 46th Week of 2011.

    Jim Lundgren
    Tommy O' Shea (Automatic Lagavulin Gift Rule)
    Chris Roper
    Ben Martin
    Brian Donovan
    Bill Hillegas

    So now we have a bottle and a half of Lagavulin in stock as this year's night before Thanksgiving Bash draws near.

    Friday, November 18, 2011

    Leg Up on Lagavulin

    I walked up to Beacon Hill Liquors tonight, which is only 300 yards or so from my house, and bought a bottle of Lagavulin 16 Year Single Malt Scotch for myself.   My last bottle is stored on the WhaleEye and I didn't get to it in time before the boat was shrinkwrapped for the winter.   Probably reason enough to slit the shrinkwrap and retrieve it, but I resisted that urge.
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    Joanne was surprized that I bought my own bottle since the night before Thanksgiving Bash is next week, and that's always been occasion for some of you exceptionally classy Peeps to be nominated as an Automatic Peep of the Week for bringing me a bottle of the King of Scotch.
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    But I didn't want to take that for granted.
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    Anyway....Peter Brown, owner of Beacon Hill Liquors, knows that I'll end up buying a decent supply of the Lagavulin that he stocks, and graciously cut the price by $5 bucks.
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    So I poneyed up $65 bucks for my own bottle.
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    Those of you who have been to Bashes of the past know that the Lagavulin starts to flow like wine as the event gathers steam and momentum.   This bottle can't last long... especially if I crack it tonight.



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