No Heavy Lifting

Lots of feedback on the movie idea.  I'm actually working on plans for the sequel.
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Other than that, the Sundance house renovation is going the way of most projects... overly optimistic schedules, sabotaged by unforeseen techical mishaps.
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It's not for lack of trying, as my pain wracked body can attest to.  And I will get to the finish line.... the instatllation of the downstairs carpet... by this Thursday, but not without some huge contingencies.
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The major issues on the woodwork schedule occurred when the raised panel stile router bit chipped when the router spun out of its router table cradle.   I hadn't locked it down before I turned the router on for a classic idiotic move.    Luckily, the Gilbert and Cole lumber yard in Marblehead had the same Freud bit, but I had to buy the whole raised panel set to get it.   A $150 mistake.
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That set the workwork completion schedule off.
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But the biggest mistake was relying on my HVLP paint sprayer to do the priming and paint job.  Naturally, it wouldn't spray latex at any production rate.  So I went to Home Depot and bought a Ryobi sprayer that clained that it would handle latex with no dilution.  An $80 mistake.   The freaking thing is useless and made a huge mess.
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So the contingency plan is to prime and paint by brush all baseboards that will be in contact with the carpet this Thursday.   Then I'll tape down plastic everywhere, and finish the spackle and paint job.
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That takes the craziness out of the schedule, plus the need to finish this part of the project slacked off after the kitchen cabinet delivery moved to January 25.
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That's the new deadline for all of the main living area to be complete, with the hardwood floors being the gating factor.
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In the meantime, I have to fit in some work at Nanepashemet Telecom, and rent Beverly Ave. 
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I agree that this is beyond the capacity of the average man, but no heavily lifting for a Mountain of a Man.

Nanepashemet - the Movie

This morning, around 7:00AM, someone from a server in New Hampshire hit the Blog for the 100,000 time.
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Yet everything seems the same. 
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I still hold out the hope that the Nanepashemet Blog morphs into some kind of Facebook phenomenon that will spill out millions in cash and end up in a movie about me.  I'm thinking maybe Harrison Ford for the starring role because of his toughness and rugged good looks.   Or maybe Chevy Chase for other reasons.
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Ben Affleck can play my son Mike with Sandra Bullock in the Katelyn role.  Not sure who would represent my wife Joanne, but there are a lot of hot, sizzling actresses who could handle the part. Probably would have to go with Michelle Pfeiffer.  For Ryan, it would be Mark Wahlberg.  Course the grandkids, Will and Ethan will play themselves, because there just isn't any other kids as gifted or talented.
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The story line is obvious.... how a rough, tough, hard to bluff, mountain of a man builds boats, makes a killing in business, scores some Lagavulin and constantly seeks a path of isolation from annoying, irritating Peeps who won't leave him alone.
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It will be a dramatic, comedic shocker... with plenty of gratuitous sex scenes.


Maria Rowen said...
Mitch Rapp should play the MOAM...The casting couch coach should also consider the cast of characters you call friends... How about...The incredible Mr. Limpet for the fish with lips...and...Pierce Brosnan for Harvey...This peep prefers to play a peep...gratuitously...

dougmaxfield said...
Should Harrison need a stunt double for those sex scenes I would love to throw my proverbial hat in the ring. Just saying...

TommyO said...
I am thinking the role of TommyO would be played by some sort of cross between Richard Gere and Lenny Clark.

POTW Week 48

This week featured the renowned Thanksgiving Eve Bash at our Beverly Ave. Marblehead House.  Hopefully it is the last one that Ryan will miss but even without his hijinx, it was a raucous affair.
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We have a lot to be thankful for this week, and even though you have your share of challenges and heartache, there's always ample blessings around if you take the time to recognize and cherish them....
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So stop your whining and self-centered bullshit, and thank God for the good stuff.

Announcing......
Nanepashemet Peeps of the Week for the 48th week of 2010.


Brendt D'Orio (Automatic Lagavulin Selection)
Maria Rowen (Automatic Lagavulin Selection)
Bob Wojcik (Automatic Lagavulin Selection)
Kim Reny
Emily Engardia
Brady Boyle


Next year, the Bash will be a whole lot different at the West Shore Drive house with Ryan back.  Better start planning now.

100,000 Hit Milestone

Sometime this weekend, one of you hapless Peeps will hit this Blog for the one hundred thousandth time.  That's 100,000 occasions when you have sought the solace, knowledge, wisdom, and aggravation that flows freely from this little anchor in cyberspace.
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And yet, I have not received dollar one for this immense contribution to humankind's body of knowledge.
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Granted.  I've picked up a couple dozen bottles of Lagavulin, the King of Scotch.... and maybe that is compensation enough.   And for those of you who think that the Nanepashemet Blog is just a big scam so that I can score Lagavulin from you.... maybe you're on to something. 
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But a bottle of the King of Scotch from time to time seems fair trade for the psychological benefit/trama that this Blog exudes to the clamoring masses.  Plus, the donors get the ultimate recognition.... automatic selection as Peeps of the Week. 
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So, I think that you are really getting the better deal in this scam.

Bash Aftermath

If you want to know what happened at the Bash last night, you won't be finding it in the Marblehead Police Log.... because there were no reported incidents whatsoever!
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That's always a big accomplishment, and an annual source of pride.
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But it's not to say things didn't get loud, obnoxious and a bit over the top.
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For starters, there were THREE AUTOMATICS!!!  That's three Peeps who were courageous and audacious enough to show up with a bottle of Lagavulin, the King of Scotch, and will be enshrined in perpetuity as Automatic Nanepashemet Peeps of the Week when the selections are made later this weekend.
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For the record, the enlightened and high class peeps were Maria Rowen, Bob Wojcik, and Brendt D'Orio.  They deserve  the vast amount of recognition and praise that undoubtably will be coming their way during this holiday weekend.
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Mark Vona claimed that he searched three liquor stores for the King, and came up short.  Normally, I would dismiss this like a pile of horse manure, but since it was Vona, he gets a pass.  I believe you Mark.
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I really can't name anymore names and events, not because I don't remember, but the details are fuzzy.   However....Firepits, Scotch, Dark and Stormies, and Macaroni and cheese come to mind.  Plus, if you weren't there, it's none of your business, and if you were, you know what happened anyway.  So there is no need for me to memorialize any of the frivolity.
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I did get a chance to play my banjo riff that always sets Steve Lewis off though.

Bash Rules

The frenzy has begun.
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It's like a huge drum is beating louder and louder.
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I don't get it.
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Every year for the last twenty years or so, the night before Thanksgiving Day Bash at Nestor's has been a ritual event with the same rules.
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1.  There are no invitations, but if you don't come, we will be insulted, and talk about you behind your back.
2.  The Cuisine is classic American Trailer Park-  lots of stuff deep fried in the Turkey fryer.
3.  Be prepared to drink with moderation - the beer will flow like wine.  Plus, we have wine.
4.  Clothes are mandatory.  Commando will not be tolerated.
5.  Bad jokes and loud, obnoxious behavior is encouraged.
6.  And, what should go without saying, the gift of the King of Scotch, Lagavulin Single Malt, will win you an automatic selection as a Nanepashemet Peep of the Week.
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So that's it.   Six pathetic rules.  You would think that it could be easy enough for people to remember. 
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This is the last year for the Bash to be held at Beverly Ave.  Next year, we will be up at the West Shore Drive house that borders Gerry Playground......  which may require the promulgation of additional rules.

Bash Preview

It's only two nights to go before the biggest event of the year... the Thanksgiving Eve BlowOut Bash at the Nestor's replete with Buffalo wings, White Trash Balls, Macaroni and Cheese, and of course... the King of Scotch, Lagavulin Single Malt.
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For those insidious Wussys among you who complain that drinking Lagavulin is like drinking terpentine (BLASPHEMY!) there will be Sams and Guinness flowing like wine.   And there will also be wine.
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This year, like every other in the pathetic series, we have not issued invitations... but if you don't come, you will be talked about incessantly concerning all of your earthly foibles and weaknesses.... so I'd come if I were you.
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This year, as a special treat, we've asked Prince William and his newly betrothed, Kate to attend and they've graciously accepted.   The word is that the Prince is a big fan of my Wings and White Trash Balls, so come early in case he decides to make a pig of himself and eat the whole platter.
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Judiciously, I've decided not to invite Sarah Palin.   Joanne knows how she turns me on, and I don't want to make everyone uncomfortable.  So as a Mountain of a Man, I've taken the high road once again.
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Most of the usual suspects will be here though, and I'm pretty sure that Tuna Lips will make his annual appearance, even though his identity can never be revealed.
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For those of you who continue to ask me the annoying question of dress code, my answer is the same now as it's always been.  Clothes are mandatory.  Anybody showing up in full commando will be turned away.
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This is a classy affair... for Cripes Sakes.
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See you there.... or feel your ears burn.

Maria Rowen said...

I am looking forward to many white trash balls...Prince Harry is much more interesting and...Will there be full body scanners or pat downs by any chance...? 

____________________________________________________________________
Maria -
We will provide as many white trash balls as you can handle.  Didn't invite Harry.  Too much red tape, plus he doesn't have a hot fiancee.   And yes.....  There will be a lot of full body scans, especially in your case.   Good luck with the pat downs.
- MOAM

Security Measures

I don't get the beef over the new airline safety procedures.
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The TSA is just there for our safety. And even though every single airline terrorist has been a Muslim, let's not profile. Let's feel up everyone.   Let the minimum wage TSA professional morons grope away. 
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And... while they have the rubber gloves on, might as well go with a full body cavity search. 
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Can't be too careful!  The government is there to help us.
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Tuna Lips said...

I has no problem, filosifizin wise, about pullin my man tackle out fer thems to check. "Shock and Awe" and just some Gulf War jingoism.

Cornhusker Ass

Texas A&M had a nice 9-6 victory this weekend over eighth ranked Nebraska.
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No surprize to me.
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The Aggies are the Official Nanepashemet Division 1 NCAA College Football Team, anchored by our own Benny Martin, who is an offensive line coach.
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So it just goes without saying that they would manhandle a wussy team like the Nebraska Cornhuskers.
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Ben had a small contingent of Marblehead Peeps help him with this one though.   Not sure what help Scott McBurney could bring, but SuperPeeps Nate Clarke and Mike Nestor obviously added some value to the win.
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I hope the post game festivities didn't get out of hand.
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Way to go Ben.   Kicking Cornhusker ASS!!!


(just kidding, Scotty Boy.)

No Comparison

89 year old Geneva Sozanski was outside of the Lynn Eastern Ave. two family  home where she has lived for fifty years or so.  
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At one o'clock in the afternoon,  a 30 year old punk, named Nicholas Christian, made it his business to jump out of his car, slam her to the ground with such force that she was bleeding and unconscious so that he could steal her purse.
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Christian is 30 years old.
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Mrs. Sozanski is a greatgrandmother with two sons... both Dentists.
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She has lived a long life of grace and dignity... and you can even now see the goodness in her beaten face.
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I first met Mrs. Sozanski when I was in the 7th grade, hanging out with her son, Stephen.  She was instrumental in my decision to attend graduate school at Boston University.  I ran into her outside of a bakery on Lewis Street in Lynn in the summer, shortly after I had graduated from UMASS and taken a job as a Planner for the City of Lynn.
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Mrs. Sozanski was happy to see me and we exchanged greetings, then she asked me where I was going to graduate school.  I explained to her that I had a job now and probably wouldn't be going back to school.  The look on her face was of shock and concern.  "Oh, you shouldn't stop now, John,  You have to get your Master's Degree,"  she said in a firm voice that I thought was uncharacteristic of her.  We exchanged a few more niceties, then went our separate ways down the street.
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Later on that week, I looked into the Master's Program of Urban Affairs at Boston University and enrolled in night school for the fall semester.  The firm nudge from Mrs. Sozanski was the catalyst.
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She is a warm and kind lady, and her comments to the media about the incident characterize her perfectly.
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So Christian... back to you.  If you have to knock old ladies senseless so that you can steal the paltry contents of their purses for your addictive fix, then, the worth of you as a human being speaks for itself.  Sadly, there will always be slime at the bottom of the barrel like you.  
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But what makes me high on life is the Geneva Sozanski's that I have run into.  People like Mrs. Sozanski make our lives so much richer, that we can afford to dismiss the depravity that you have made of your worthless life.   She makes us able to endure the likes of you.
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Good luck in the future, Christian.  People like you rarely make it to age 89 like Mrs. Sozanski ... odds are, you won't be seeing 39.

POTW Week 47

Tommy McMahon, former POTY took the time to remind me that I missed the Peep of the Week selections last week.
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No shit Tom.
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Maybe I didn't miss it though... maybe I chose to ignore it.... and maybe I had a real good reason to do so.
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Or... Maybe not.
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Anyway, I'm going through the pathetic process today, so that I don't get any annoying reminders in a day or so.
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ANNOUNCING....

Nanepashemet Peeps of the Week for the 47th week of 2010

Barbara Kessel

Tommy McMahon

Sam Khairi

Bill Hillegas

Susan Raiche

Eugene Noel

On to the Weekend.

Breaking News

Prince Will is getting married to Kate Middleton.
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I know this.... because that's the only thing that the "Newscasters" on ABC can talk about for the last few mornings. It's even bigger news than Bristol Palin making the finals in Dancing With the Stars.
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Neither issue concerns me.  When you're a Mountain of a Man, you can't be detered by trivial voyeurism... even though Kate seems pretty hot.

Jim L. said...

It will be a great irony if Queen 'Liz outlives Charlie Boy. He has been the man who would be king for four decades since his playboy days in the early '60's. And now, the Brits are rooting for Liz to hang on. The crowd favorite for the king job is Will. And, of course, they are falling in love with Kate just like they did with Di.