Mystery of the Links

My son Michael bought a new set of Cleveland golf clubs yesterday, which I'm sure he will put to good use. Ryan is also a pretty good golfer and can drive the ball over 300 yds. on occasion.
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So Mike decided to make small talk this afternoon, by asking me why I thought that I sucked so bad in golf. Normally, my response would be a kindly but firm, "Kiss My Ass", but the topic is one that has intrigued me as well.
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After all, the two boys are good golfers, both captained the Marblehead HS Golf Team in their senior years, and my father was a natural athelete who just about mastered any sport he tried. I remember he always would come home with trophies for bowling or golf - every time he got involved with some sort of organized activity. He was also a hell of a baseball player, spending a season down south in the Yankees farm system.
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Like I told you earlier, my tennis game was once such that I felt I could play with anyone, and I always could hit a baseball. So why can't I at least play golf with a modicum of competency???
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My drives are erratic and short.
I can't chip to save myself.
Putting is an atrocious embarrassment.
I never open a sleeve of balls that I don't lose in the woods.
A round is something that I survive, not finish.
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WTF is going on????
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So Mike, it's a legit question, and deserves a thoughtful answer. And the answer is..." I have no freaking idea....so Kiss My Ass".

Tuna Lips said...

"I likes to go swimmin' with bowlegged women and swims between their legs, swims between there legs, o swim betweens their legs . . ." oh ascuse my little ditty, I was just ponderin' how Willie Clinton is kickin' hisself fer selectin' that Al Gore ninny he run with. Shoulda got hisself an office mate he could play grab ass with like this Sarah gal, wearing her hot pants and toting a double ought, he'd a had a big ole party and kept that feller hillary off his back. Shucks, titties and guns, throw in some bourbon and take out, you got yerself the life of, well, Tuna Lips, heh heh heh. I'm gone, see ya, wouldn't wanta be ya!

I Believe This....

"Successful and unsuccessful people do not
vary greatly in their abilities. They vary in
their desires to reach their potential."
- John Maxwell

Physical Phatigue

This is the second weekend in a row where my body is wracked with self induced pain. Last week we decided that cycling 15 mi. a day in the mountain roads of North Corway was a good idea.... this week, landscaping at Sundance Pre-School did the damage.
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Specifically, all we did was weed, cultivate, trim some overgrowth and plant about 30 chrysanthemums. How physically taxing could that be???? In truth, the weeds had so taken hold that I made four F15o truckloads to the Marblehead dump. There were big ones, thorny ones, and some really rooted weeds. Then a few hours of tilling and tree trimming.
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By the time 4:00 PM rolled around, I was one hurting Buckaroo. Which would have been easy enough to endure if I wasn't tortured by taunts from the likes of Will and Lynda Murray, as well as Brendt and Kerry D'Orio, as they cruised West Shore Drive ostensibly looking for action.
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My friend "Who doesn't want his name mentioned in the Blog" saw me at one of the Dump runs and invited me over his house for a beer. That would have been nice if I wasn't so sweaty and filthy. Plus he is not over the euphoria of landing two Bluefins at Stellwagen yesterday which I am unabashedly jealous about. So I declined.
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At the Marblehead Garden Center, while picking up the last ten Mums, a fetching Marblehead SUV Mom asked if I worked there. Not really flattered by that assumption, I said, "No... but do I look like I work here?"

"Well, you look like you know what you are doing," was her glib retort.
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Maybe that's good... I'm still not so sure. But it did take my mind off of my painful physical fatigue for a few seconds.
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Anyway, there is no excuse for letting the weeds take over at the Sundance Pre-School. I have to resolve to stay ahead of that game.... so I can bike more on the weekends.

Weekend Focus

It's a long Labor Day holiday weekend.
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Normally, this would be a good time to kick back. But I want to get the Sundance landscaping looking real good for the opening of the school next week.
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And I want to get some nagging maintenance issues done around Beverly Ave. Like waterproofing under the deck to store the lawnmower and powerwasher etc. there rather than in the garage.
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I have to put the garage back in shape for some serious boatbuilding work on the Marblehead Gunning Dory. So I suppose that you forgot about that project???? After all, it is one of the primary focuses of this pathetic Blog.... or so it is supposed to be.
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Despite all of this Puritannical attention to labor, I still have to catch some fish this weekend. Maybe a football tuna or striped bass.... Maybe.

POTW Week 35

I'm not ready to concede the end of summer.
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I haven't caught nearly enough fish, haven't rowed the tender, and spent a lot of time trying to grow a front lawn only to see it burn up through overfertilization. I'm sure that the neighbors get a chuckle over that. But I'm not giving up.... not with the whole month of September ahead of me.
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We'll make up a lot of time in September and we'll keep the Tender going easily into November.
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At least I can look forward to the Republican National Convention.
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Announcing
Nanepashemet Peeps of the Week for the 35th week of 2008

Susan Raich
Katelyn Nestor
Sarah Crawford
Caroline Bruett
Eric Johnson
John Kerry

We have the whole month of September.

Dems in Denver

Watching the Democratic National Convention makes my teeth hurt. It's like idiots pandering to idiots.
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Bill Clinton, welling up in tears and mouthing "I love you" to Hillary while she spouted from the podium, was particularly painful. Everything seems so pretentious and staged.
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I doubt that the Republicans will be much better.
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Choosing the leader of the most powerful nation on earth is such a sell job. You would think that we could figure out a better way. Maybe program a computer to be ultimately logical, just and wise.
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I ultimately will vote for McCain as the lesser of two evils, although I remain thrilled that a non-white has overcome the deep seated racial insecurities to emerge as a Presidential candidate. Within my own lifetime, the nation has made a quantum leap and has become a better place to live.

Admitting to Weakness

The last couple of days have been a whir of activity at Nanepashemet Telecom.
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So naturally this pathetic blog has had to suffer. What do you want from me? I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth. No trust funds, no inherited wealth. I generally have had to work my ass off everyday to make a living.
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And even if Nanepashemet Telecom is cruising along now, there is always the chance that it can fall off of a cliff. So I have to work hard and be vigilant, even in the good times.
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So.... How's that for a nice dose of paranoia????
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At any rate, I can sense a bit of workaholic creeping into my character, and will try hard to screw off more often in the future.
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It's especially hard to admit to weaknesses when you are a mountain of a man like me. But I do have my shortcomings.

Inflation

Suspecting that the tire pressure was off, I bought a bicycle pump which had a gauge on it from Joe Jones and found that the pressure was 25 psi.
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The tire stated to use 65 psi for on road and 45 for off road, so I inflated to 65 psi. A big difference. Took 4 minutes off of the 14.6 mile loop and felt a lot better during the cycle. The small seat does a job on your glutes though, and can get downright uncomfortable to the boys. I suppose this will take some getting used to .
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Joanne wants me to take her bike home and that she'll ride it there. Since the Cybex hasn't felt her on it's seat for over a year, I have my doubts. But I'll hump it home anyway.

Encore

I couldn't believe how bad I felt on my 15 mile bike ride yesterday.
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So much so that I went the same route today.
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The difference was that I brought a 16oz. bottle of iced tea, which made me feel much better... but my ass has still be dragging all day since.
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Maybe tomorrow will be better.
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BTW, I'm pretty sure that the "Bud Collins" guy is an imposter. The real Collins would never have the balls to call me a Bitch.

Tennis Return

After about 140 practice serves at the Northbrook courts, I could sense that the magic was returning. My tennis game was coming back.

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By the end, I had the right pace, could place the serve and could throw in a hook or two. I completely obliterated my imaginary opponent.

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Get ready Stevie. I'm coming back for you. And Bud Collins.... if that is indeed your real name.... it's time for you to take the whupping that you deserve.

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Now for another bike adventure.

Bud Collins said...

I write for the Boston Globe, sir, and have played tennis since before you were born and commented on it for major media outlets since the 1974 season, in which Ashe beat Connors in 4 sets at Wimbledon.

Nevertheless, I am not voting for Obama. Like you. Bitch.

John Nestor Said....

Excellent Trash Talk. Unlike you, I will let my racket do the talking. I'll have to bring two though because the first one will be sticking out of your ass.

Peep of the Week - 34

It was a day like any other day up in North Conway, NH. We went to the shoe store to get my pair of Sperry Boat shoes that I'll wear for the next five years or so, then we went to the new Eastern Mountain Sports on Route 16.
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We have been patrons at Eastern Mountain ever since we bought our first pair of XC skis from their Amherst, MA store back in 1973. It was pretty embarrassing lately when I saw the same models hung on a Pub wall as antiques!
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Oh Well... Tempus Fugit.
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Anyway, in a complete impulse buy, I bought two mountain bikes for Joanne and I. Joanne was fairly horrified, but within an hour, we wwere pedaling around on our new IronHourse Maverick 1.0 26" mountain bike beauties.
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The IronHorse is made in China where billions of people pedal as a way of life, so that sounded like a good deal to me.
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Naturally I immediately overdid it by biking fifteen miles over to Intervale and back. It's not the same as 15 on the stationary Cybex, and my back was screaming.
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We bought cool helmets too.
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Announcing....
Nanepashemet Peeps of the Week for the 34th week of 2008

Abby Bruett
Lindsey Kepnes
Lauren Rathbone
Brian Butler
Jason, the guy from Eastern Mountain Sports
Linda O'Shea

Tomorrow will be more reasonable.

More Olympics

Some of the sports in the Olympics that you don't see often are really cool.
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• Team Handball - a combination of Basketball and Lacrosse.
• Badminton - Not your backyard lawn game.
• Water Polo - Something fun to do at the pool.
• Table Tennis - Definitely not Ping Pong.
• Wrestling - has nothing to do with the bogus stuff on TV, which shouldn't be call wrestling.

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I'm not really interested in the baseball, basketball or tennis where the Olympics are not the pinnacle of the sport.
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Course Track and Field still rules. I'm disappointed that Shalane Flanagan hasn't received any televised recognition though. She runs in the 5000 meter final on Friday, but since she wasn't a medal favorite in the long runs, the networks televised pre-planning hasn't keyed on these events.
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If she medals again in the 5000, the networks will have missed out on a great story.

Tuna Lips said...

Howdy, and apologies for my absentee being. Hoo yow! I am flush with pocket money and tales to spin from the road, wherein my jug band, the Foghorn Leghorns, just come back from. Called it 'Tunapalooza' in these parts, hit every town fair and roadhoase juke joint from the Ozarks Hempfest to the Winnebago Muddy Water festival. Ussins blazed a trail of toe tappin' fiddlin' and bumpin', liquor fueled misdemeanors and amorous involvifications with BBWs. This here money I lifted from an invalids' panhandlin' is burnin' a hole in my trousers. I am gonna git on down to the oriental health spa (next to the coin-op launderin')and get my road weary bones a rub down, and mayhap a welcome home hand release! Coo Coo!