Kardashian Kulture

Anyone who says that Kim Kardashian has no talent obviously hasn't seen this photograph.

She has beautiful fingernails.

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I wonder if she can sing?

Gagging on Perky

Fans of this pathetic Blog know that I generally loathe watching  Good Morning America, and watch only out of habit, a need for self flagellation or a sick combination of both.
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I realize there is a pathological flaw in play here, but it is what it is.
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So I didn't think things could get worse with this aggravating morning show.... but they did.... Big Time.
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The Female Basketball Player Anchor who cries alot decides to take a two week vacation from the biased midget, George Democratonopholos... and who do they give the slot to?    Not a deserving reserve from the weekend edition like Brianna Golddigger.   No.
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They bring in possibly the most obnoxious, self-righteous, pretentious ego-maniac that the liberal media has ever upchucked.
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Yes... that would be Katie Couric.
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I had to stop typing for a while there because of the wicked gag reflex that always kicks in when I even think of Little Miss Perky.  
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This is going to be a tough two weeks.

Tuna Lips saidApr 4, 2012 03:59 PM

I betcha she bleaches her rose bud. Hooooooey! Likes me some o' dem spicy vittles!

Happy Birthday Joanne

Bought a chain saw sharpening machine at Harbor Freight Tools yesterday.  Then I sharpened the chain on my chain saw and cut a wood pallet that was in the back of the Ford F150 when Dale and Gail walked by and decided to have some Dark and Stormies with Joanne and I.
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One thing led to another, and before you know it, we were grilling lamb patties and making macaroni and cheese.
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It could have been worse.
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We could have been short on lamb patties and Black Seal Rum.
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But everything worked out fine.
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Today is my wife,  Joanne's, Birthday.  Not sure if she wants to reveal her age to you Panting Peeps on this Pathetic Blog.... but suffice it to say that she is freaking old.  I think she was seventeen when I met her and that was over  forty + or - years ago... so that's a clue.
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She's still good though.  A little different from the early days, but in many ways, a lot better.
Happy Birthday Joanne.  A lot of people love you and I'm one of them.

Lottery Winnings

$630M at stake tonight in the Mega Millions National Lottery.
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That's over $315M in lump sum after taxes.
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I bought two tickets and am feeling pretty good about it.
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If I win, I promise I'll do good things with the money.  I mean.. the first $315M goes to fund the government... so that's a good thing right off of the bat.  Right???
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And if I gave $1M to some random Peep, that poor bastard would owe the government about $500k right away.   Do you see a pattern forming?
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If I gave it all away to you, the gift tax would reduce it to $160M in your pocket.  And it you went crazy, and gave it to some other pathetic soul, that guy gets $80M after takes.  So going through three sets of hands, $630M would be reduced to $80M to the third receiver, with the government getting $550 Million.
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That's why, if I win, I'm going to keep the $300 million after taxes.... All of it.
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With everything over $300M I'll be partying, taking some trips,buying some toys,  and having a good time.  That's when you phoney bastards should stay close, because I'll be dishing out more cash than Michael Jackson in a kiddie park.
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After that binge, I'll  invest the rest in conservative securities.
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2% return on $300M is $6 million a year.  Course, I'd be giving $3M back to the government every year, but with the $3M left over,  I'll find a way to get by..... maybe pay your mortgage and give your kids an education trust fund.... but don't be asking, or you get nothing.
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When I die, the Government will get another chunk in inheritance taxes.
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Winning the Lottery can be damn depressing.

Redistribution of Wealth.

  This is outrageous.
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That young girl shouldn't be hogging all of the Legos.
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You go .. Mr. President.
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Correct this injustice.

The Competitive Market

It's the last week of the first quarter.

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Lots of my friends in big corporations are pushing to check boxes that will define their professional performance and drive the worth of their company in the stock market.  I have no problem with it.

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Our competitive market system benefits us all in the end, even though it's a rat race if you are in the middle of it all.

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I never priced a competitive project that I felt confident that it was a slam dunk that we would make a profit.  Yet, we usually find a way around the constraints and limitations.  Once in awhile, the customer is too unreasonable, and the squeeze is something that you don't think you will eventually get comfortable with.  I have no trouble bailing when that happens.

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But usually, the seemingly impossible becomes possible when you attack all of the angles.  That is how the market provides the highest quality at the lowest prices... and why government and government backed time and material industries.... are so incredibly wasteful.   

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In public bureaucracies and socialist systems, they don't have to work smart, they just have to cover their ass.

From Trow and Holden

WEDGES AND SHIMS
(or plugs and feathers)

Most Stone will split cleanly if the proper breaking technique is used. Wedges and shims have been used for eons in the stone industry, and are still among the most effective tools for splitting stone. Here's how to use them:

1. Drill holes along your split line at least as deep as your wedges are long and about 6" apart. For difficult splits, drill holes deeper and closer together. Your split line may be straight or curved.2. Insert wedges and shims into holes as illustrated. Make sure the "ears" face the direction you want your stone to split. 3. Strike the wedges in sequence, firmly but without forcing. Wait a few minutes. Repeat until stone splits (clear the way!).

I spent the better part of today, doing this wrong.  I didn't drill deep enough and then pounded the hell out of the wedges.  Wish I read this instruction earlier.

Fieldstone wall project.

We are starting the fieldstone wall construction on the side of the Sundance house.

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Dispite extensive research and the the purchase of several books on the subject matter, it simply gets down to the above graphic.... excavate and level the foundation, establish stakes and lines for the sides and top of the wall, place stones interlocking one over two and two over one, set aside the level cap stones for the top, reinforce large stones with small ones on the inside.

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We have to split some large stones first, then the wall will be ready to begin.

Waterfront Offerings

Land Offerings

St. Nestor

Hey... I didn't make this up.... I found it on the Web.   That's one good looking Saint though.

Wayne's Words

From my old friend from Eastern Jr. High and Lynn English High School....  Long time Melrose Zoning Board of Appeals Member, Wayne Webster.

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The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited 
readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, 
subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. 

Here are the winners: 

1 Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which 
renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. 

3 Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which 
lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 

4 Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 

5 Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that 
stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, 
shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 

6 Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the 
purpose of getting laid 

7 Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 

8 Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit 
and the person who doesn't get it. 

9 Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are 
running late. 

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. 
(This one got extra credit.) 

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off 
all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and 
it's like, a serious bummer. 

12. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the 
day consuming only things that are good for you. 

13. Glibido: All talk and no action. 

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem 
smarter when they come at you rapidly. 

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just 
after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. 

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that 
gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and 
cannot be cast out. 

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half 
a worm in the fruit you're eating. 


The Washington Post has also published the winning
submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply 
alternate meanings for common words. 

And the winners are: 

1 Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs. 

2 Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering 
how much weight one has gained. 

3 Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat 
stomach. 

4 Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk. 

5 Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent. 

6 Negligent, adj. Absent mindedly answering the door when 
wearing only a nightgown. 

7 Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp. 

8 Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash. 

9 Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone 
who has been run over by a steamroller. 

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline. 

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam. 

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by 
proctologists. 

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist. 

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with 
Yiddishisms. 

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the 
soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. 

16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts 
worn by Jewish men.

Modes of Behavior

I was talking to my friend, Bill Hillegas, this morning, and he told me that he that only has two operating modes.... an easy going, accomodating, generous and open mode.... and a demanding, take no prisoners, cross me and I will relentlessly drill you mode.
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And there is no in between for him.
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One of the reasons Bill and I have remained close is that we have a lot of the same emotions and seem to think alike.
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I know exactly what he means.
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It's always tough when people see you in the first mode, decide you are a push over, and wonder why the shit storm has started as they witness the next mode.
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That can be a problem...

Tuna Lips said...Mar 23, 2012 04:27 PM

I got the same approach with the all too common "I am an entertainer" thinking stripper types.

Sorry in Advance

Peeps....
This is going to come as a total shock to you....
But I have a real weakness.
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I try to be easy going and accomodating to people, but if I think I am being taken for granted...and then taken advantage of.... I turn into a real prick. 
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Like a take no prisoners... prick.
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Like a spare no expense, who gives a shit... prick.
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Like a tenacious, never give up, balls to the walls... prick.
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Like a non-stop, full speed til it's done.... prick.
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Like a whatever name you want to call me, you're probably right , but I could care less ... prick.
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Plus... like the stupid Irishman that I am... after it's all over, I still carry the grudge... prick.
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Just ask the folks that I have worked with.   Half of them like me, and the other half thinks  I'm a real prick.