$630M at stake tonight in the Mega Millions National Lottery.
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That's over $315M in lump sum after taxes.
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I bought two tickets and am feeling pretty good about it.
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If I win, I promise I'll do good things with the money. I mean.. the first $315M goes to fund the government... so that's a good thing right off of the bat. Right???
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And if I gave $1M to some random Peep, that poor bastard would owe the government about $500k right away. Do you see a pattern forming?
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If I gave it all away to you, the gift tax would reduce it to $160M in your pocket. And it you went crazy, and gave it to some other pathetic soul, that guy gets $80M after takes. So going through three sets of hands, $630M would be reduced to $80M to the third receiver, with the government getting $550 Million.
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That's why, if I win, I'm going to keep the $300 million after taxes.... All of it.
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With everything over $300M I'll be partying, taking some trips,buying some toys, and having a good time. That's when you phoney bastards should stay close, because I'll be dishing out more cash than Michael Jackson in a kiddie park.
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After that binge, I'll invest the rest in conservative securities.
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2% return on $300M is $6 million a year. Course, I'd be giving $3M back to the government every year, but with the $3M left over, I'll find a way to get by..... maybe pay your mortgage and give your kids an education trust fund.... but don't be asking, or you get nothing.
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When I die, the Government will get another chunk in inheritance taxes.
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Winning the Lottery can be damn depressing.
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