Woods with Woody

Poor Tiger.
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Having sex with all of those Hot Babes.
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It must be terrible for him.
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If I were him, I'd just concentrate on my putter.... see if I can straigten out my drives with my woods.... so to speak.
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OK, cheap humor.   But do you want me to keep blogging about Al Gore?????  This Tiger thing will get tired soon, so we might as well have a little fun with it for awhile.    I'm sure he'll find a way to console himself.
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My recommendation for Tiger is to get out and golf..   Swing the freaking club to remind people what you are really famous for.  And keep your woody in the bag for the time being.

Tuna Lips said...

Sound thinkin' there, Kemosabe. I'd also reccomdentate that he take into considerin' producin some dirty movin' picture shows. I got a rolerdecks of starvin' actresses lookin' for they break into the biz. Got a steady supply of crank to keep them on their toes and workin' cheap, too, i does. With his eye fer talent and my stable of phillies free of open sores, we could take Howleewood by storm!

Maria Rowen said...

Poor Al Gore...Tiger is getting all the attention as more and more women come out of the 'Wood'work...This story has legs...lots and lots of legs...and apparently...lots and lots of breasts...Tiger you big Cheetah...David Letterman is on your side and waiting for your call...

Fooling the People

I saw an article recently debunking Global Warming and saying that Al Gore should have the Nobel Prize revoked because of the misrepresentations and political license that he took in his Oscar winning film, "An Inconvenient Truth".

Gore Lied about the Polar Bears... says that they are dying because of Global Warming  when they are actually multiplying like rabbits... says he created the Internet.  He'll obviously twist the facts to meet his agenda.  

All he had to do was to carry the State of Tennesee to win enough electoral votes, but Thank God that his home state knew him well enough to vote him down or he would have been the President of the US. 

And since we are involving the Lord in this post, God Bless the Academy that awards the Oscars and the Nobel Prize Committee.  Definitely no Tenneseeans in those fine groups.

“You may fool all the people some of the time, 

you can even fool some of the people all of the time, 

but you cannot fool all of the people all the time.”

 

- Abraham Lincoln 

 

You'll probably never catch me mentioning Gore and Lincoln  in the same post again.

 

Tuna Lips said...

I 'spects yer puttin' together an assessment of the troupe of harlots that this golfer feller has ravished. Shoot, at this rate, give it a coupla weeks, he'll be rankin' with some of the all time whoremasters, like Slick Willy and Wilt the Stilts. Amazin!

 

Happy Birthday Ethan

First real snow of the year.   It's my grandson, Ethan's, first birthday, and we are taking he and Will out for some Fresh Ayer.  They might not be the best grandkids in the world, but try saying that to their Nana Joanne.

Kerry  said...

Happy Birthday Ethan! Hugs, The D'Orio Family

Tuna Lips said...

Ethan: Let yer carrot loose, ole buddy! Weeze all in er to win er! Coo Coo!

 

POTW Week 49

We went to Mistral in Boston's Back Bay last night after a Fresh Ayer visit with Harvey and Lisa Rowe.
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I wanted to see if if it was as good as it was the first time I went there.
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It was.
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I felt a little guilty leaving Ryan to go to Mistral, which is one of his favorite restaurants.  But he'll have plenty of time to catch up... as long as the Mayan Prophecy is wrong. 

ANNOUNCING....

Nanepashemet Peeps of the Week for the 49th Week of 2009

Isam Halwani

Mike Chandler

Bill Hillegas

Mike Rockett

Linda O'Shea

Phil Mickelson

Harvey had the pasta because he was planning a 10 mile training fun for this morning.  I had the filet because I will be going substanially less than ten.  Plus Harvey picked up the check, which always makes the meal taste better.

Scarlet A

Some years ago, I had a random lunch at the Chicago Airport while waiting for a flight with a professional golfer who had a modicum of success of the PGA tour.
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The conversation got around to who were the stand up guys in Professional Golf, and who were the jerks.
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Guys like Tiger and Phil Mikelson came up on the short end of this guy's assessment... in the category of those who were fairly full of themselves and gave no consideration to the rank and file players.

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It was interesting, but it didn't deter me from being a Tiger fan.   I like the way that Woods plays golf.  Really don't care if he tips the clubhouse attendant, is courteous to his fellow competitors, or seeks out a little extra poontang.  It would be nice if he was perfect in all aspects, but I just care about his mastery and talent in the game of Golf.
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Anything else is just voyeurism.

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But society still needs to label others with a Scarlet Letter.... pressing all of the attention and blame on others and leaving the rest of us alone with our depravities.   Tiger is in for the Hester Prinn treatment for a while.  Looks like the law of Karma is kicking in.

This innocent looking young lady, Rachel Uchitel, has vehemently denied having an affair with Tiger.

Tiger.... How could you????

Tuna Lips said...

In thisee here case, that A stands for ass, which El Tigre was gettin' more of than a terlet seat. Ise doff me cap to the feller

Maria Rowen said...

The A stands for 'A'ccounting...Elin gets 7 figures deposited in an 'A'ccount...then she gets the pre-nupt 'A'mended...then she says...'A'dios...in Sweedish...'A'fter 'A'cquiring 'A'll 'A'ssetts...'A'bbond'a'zz'a'!

Hetero Count Down

Another blow to our fellow Heterosexuals was dealt today by Meredith Baxter Birney who announced that she is a Lesbian.
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Despite three marriages and five children she finally realized that she was predisposed to go the other way, and apparently announced her new found preference on the Today Show .
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Who gives a shit Meredith.?  Do you see me singing from the Hills that I am a practicing Hetero?   (Or at least I try to be practicing.)

Tuna Lips said...

Ise enjoys all the flavors of our cultural stew. Some spicy girl-on-girl action can be just what the doctor ordered, exspecially after some dog fightin' or a lynchin'. In Old Mexico, they favored rooster fights, but loved them gordo senorita taco divin' all the mores. Multinationalizer that I is.

Maria Rowen said...

Maybe an uber-boring-story about Ms. Baxter's now public lesbian life style is just a way for the universe to give us a break from the highly-charged healthcare debate, the anger-in-Afganistan and the-torrid-Tiger-transgressions. The next news breaking story may be MoaM Heard Singing from the Hills...or...How to Serve up a Mexican Fish Fry...stay tuned...

Bravely Backing Barack

So I sat through the entire Obama Afghanistan speech and didn't get pissed off once.
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Finally, he has decided to identify the problem as American and not resort to a Bush bashing cop out.
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I have personally believed that we should get out of Afghanistan, but I got the distinct feeling that the President is operating with information that I don't have. (And I certainly hope this is the case.)
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  His references to Pakistan are particularly telling and he gave me the impression that we will be interacting far more closely with that nuclear power.
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Let's face it..... it's only a matter of time before one of these Osama wannabee, medieval, misfits stumbles onto a nuclear warhead from one of the less stable members of the Nuclear Club.   So it probably makes to sense to stay as close by as possible.
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That's my take from the President's newly outlined Afghanistan policy.  I'll back Barack, despite my past revulsion .... now that he has stopped the finger pointing and taken responsibility.  America is a flawed nation, with a birth of liberty amongst slaveholders.  There is plenty to blame if you decide that you are not up to the task of dealing with the present.
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Maybe I'm wrong, but BO seems like he decided to stop campaigning and became President tonight.

Pisc said...

Afghanistan is a bunch of rocks. It mean nothing other than as a staging ground. Its about Pakistan and Iran having nukes. Same with the invasion of Iraq. Nothing has changed but the spin. Love how Barry deems the analogy to Vietnam to be wrong because it depends on a false reading of history. Academic much? Sound like Bill's "it depends on what the meaning of is, is." We have to be there because the Pakis have nukes and the Iranians all but have them. The gathering storm, it is going to be ugly. Got my bomb shelter built.

Maria Rowen said...

Do you win a war by telling your opponent what you are planning? (Don't think so) Do we have to finish what we started in Afganistan? (Absolutley!) Our security depends on it. And our security is at stake...on that point I will agree with our president.

 

None of Our Business

When the best golfer in the world hits a golf ball..... that should be news.
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When the best golfer in the world hits a fire hydrant with his Cadillac Escalade.... that shouldn't be news.... that should be private.
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Just because someone is exceptional at one talent, that doesn't give us the right to invade his private life.
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It's none of our business to wonder if he was cheating on his hot wife. 
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Even if his every itch hits the tabloids, though, it still must be cool to be Tiger.

Big Fat Problem

So I come in from our Fresh Ayer trip, and there is a program on about fat women who have lost weight.
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Naturally, they are blubbering and sobbing.
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I don't understand why fat women cry about losing weight.   I could see maybe crying if you didn't have enough food.... but crying because you have shed some lbs. is a bit mystfying.
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This has to be the first generation in human hstory where the food crisis is not scarcity and starvation, but overeating and obesity.  I suppose that is a form of progress.

Tuna Lips said...

I likes me the big rigs.

Maria Rowen said...

We can't help it. We cry about everything...it's our Corpus Callosum...and we all have one no matter how big the rig…

 

No Choice

It's 7:00 PM, and Tyler Gill, one of Ryan's best friends, just called and asked me to go down to Maddies.
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For those of you who have never been to Marblehead, Maddies Sail Loft has been the premier drinking hole in this Town for time immemorial. despite a change of ownership.  Everybody around here has a Maddies story.
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Should I???
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On the one hand, I'm pretty settled in for the night... just downed my second Seagrams and Cranberry cocktail in keeping with my long standing seasonal drinking traditions.
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On the other hand, Joanne has just assumed control of the widescreen and is watching chick flicks galore... the current one being BrideWars featuring Kate Hudson and Ann Hathaway.
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So it's Drinks with Ryan's friends v. Sacrificing my Manhood watching this gushy movie.  Maddies gets the nod.
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There is really no other choice for a Mountain of a Man like me.  
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Plus, I doubt if she'll notice that I'm gone.

Shocking Sight

It happened once before, and I let it go.
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I think I was in denial.
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But this morning, as I sat peacefully on my couch, gazing out the front window.... it happened again.
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The O'Shea's front door opened wide and Tommy O emerged.... clad only in a bath towel around his waist, as he bent over to retrieve his morning paper.   That's right.... I saw skin... lots of it.... and some in places that I never want to see again.
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You would think that a Mountain of a Man like me would be impervious to such a disruptive sight.
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But no.  Even I have limits to what I can physically tolerate.
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I pray that Tommy O gets a bathrobe.  Lord... heed my prayer.

Tuna Lips said...

Try seeing yer 5th grade teacher releivin' herself outside the double wide. Nothin' new here, move along folks, until ye spy downwards and see Mister Collinsworth, the principle of the high school, singing "Am I Pretty" whist the shower hits his corn fed gut. Lesson learned.  

Maria Rowen said...

It seems to me...if Tommy O. was Sarah Palin...you would be praying to the Lord for a mighty west wind to blow. So while you are praying...you should thank the Lord you do not still have crush on your 5th grade teacher. Ah...men...  

 

Day Off

No news today.
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A partying couple crashed the White House Indian State Dinner causing a breach of security.  And that's it.
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It's a good day to take off.  Maybe I'll take care of some internal paperwork at Nanepashemet Telecom, but that's it.  Tommorrow we'll be heading for some Fresh Ayer.