Economic Stimulis

How bad is it when you start looking to Tuna Lips for solace and advice???
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It's time to start to turn this tanker around. Set a new course for commerce and prosperity.
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Sometime today, this Blog will receive a hit for the forty thousandth time. 40,000 times people have sought out Nanepashemet for one pathetic reason or another. What really irks me is that not one of you "suspects" have ever sent me a dime to support this oasis of insight and rationality.
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It's not that I haven't asked.
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I am 100% in favor of capitalism. Let the money come and go. It's not like I would take your contributions and invest them in stocks or something.
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Be assured that your money would be recycled in the most worthy of places.
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• Like buying extra cheese, garlic and pepperoni pizza from Vesuvius of Marblehead.
• Like purchasing bottles of Lagavulin, the King of Scotch, Stephan's Ginger Beer and Black Seal Rum from Beacon Hill Imports at the Community Store.
• Like keeping the garage full of meranti mahogany and red cedar from Moynihan Lumber for those beautiful Nanepashemet boats.
• Like ponying up for rounds of Bud and Miller High Life for the Peeps at the Gerry Club.
• Like stocking up on paper towels, 48 rolls of toilet paper, and 7,000 packets of Splenda from Costco.
  
• Like late night purchases of power tools that I will rarely use from Amazon.com.
• Like dining on the world's best lobster rolls and Sam Adams at the Boston Yacht Club.

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I'm doing my part to keep this economy going. You can too.... by contributing to Nanepashemet.

Revenge

They say that living well is the best revenge.
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They are right.
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We will have our revenge.... and the naysayers will be continue to anguish as they wallow in their putrid pool of palpitating protoplasm contemplating the utter injustice that we will not be stifled.
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Miss Rogosa, my ninth grade English teacher, would have appreciated the onomatopoeia.
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She was an old spinster who was crippled by polio and got around with huge metal braces.  We used to call her "Rogo Stick" in our insensitive 9th grade way.  Read a lot of Edith Hamilton's "Mythology" in her class, and we spent an inordinate amount of time on the works of Helen Keller. Now I think I know why..
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Haven't thought of Miss Rogosa in 40 odd years.

Tuna Lips said...

My pappy was one fer blowin his stack, no douts about it, and but fer me mammy I think a few more charges woulda stuck.

As I mentioned afore, mammy was visionary, seein' things and oppertunities when ole pappy was just seein' red. She was fer the simmerin rage - she bein' of the lady persuasion - and was all fer servin' it cold. This way, she saw to it taht on the front end, no one bounced us off the mule, and thussin they had nary a finger to point. And when they did, agin and agin and agin, as hard ons like thems like to do, our uncivilization eventually waranted the point no more. It become about them sayin' they was better than someone else. It become them hatin' on us, and they fancy friends all tight up with Jesus had no choice but to think twice.

Give it time. Tehn we'd burn them sumbitches barn down, and cover it good, make it look like the Almighty raining his justice on they asses fer what they had done to us (forgettin on what we allegedly had done to them). Justice with mammy was best done slow, like molasses in winter. Nice and cold.

Think on that. TL is everyman.

POTW Week 10

Tons of annoying stuff to choose from this week.
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But also an extraordinary amount of inspirational stuff.
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A truly Nanepashemet style week!
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ANNOUNCING.....

Nanepashemet Peeps of the Week for the 10th week of 2009

Steve Lewis
Will Murray
Amy Mann
Tricia Rockett
Claudio Alvarez
Nate Clarke

There were so many more that deserved it.

Moral Judgement

Someday, when this is all over, I'll tell you the story about the guy who married his cousin and fathered a number of morons. Now he spends his time making moral judgment of others, while being obese and on the public dole.
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I'll tell you the story, but it's not really funny.
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Nobody's perfect. Which is why a lot of people are intrigued with the imperfection of others. It makes them more comfortable with their own imperfection. Or at least draws attention away from it.
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There are a lot of Bible quotes to turn to.... "Judge not lest ye be judged." "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
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I vastly prefer the less civil.... "Why don't you kiss my royal Irish Ass? You pompous, moral high ground, Hypocrite!"

Tuna Lips said...

I find "eat the peanuts on my feces" especially effective at displayin' my effrontery sentimentality. A bit too far, somes would say, but it breaks er down to the bottom line. You knowds where you stands with ole TL when I suggest where you can get some corn niblets to snack on.

I suggest you don't publicate this here thinkin, it might break down the last remainin' strands of the yacht club community you palavers with. I mean, can you see Mrs. Wilhemina Wasp tellin' Candice Throttlesnot to snif her smelly briefs? The bar would dry up and not another glass of non-fortified wine would be poured, spilled, or, later on, end up in a pile of sick next to a marcedes bens.

But what they heck, plain speakin' folks is my cup o' tea.

I'm gone.

Katelyn Party Post Mortem.

I never gave you the post mortem of Katelyn's 30th Birthday Party.
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By all accounts, it was a clear success with no incidents at all.
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Except for that little Table Dancing episode by Emily Engardia. But we were long gone by then.

Quaint

I have to get up early tomorrow.
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Heading down to Cape Cod to pull a permit for the Coast Guard.
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The Cape is one of my favorite places - I really like the quaintness.
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Quaint is cool.
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I am cool.
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Ergo, I like quaint.

Toning it Down.

Did I sound a little harsh in that last post?
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Like I wanted to smash somebody's head like a cantalope melon with a sledge hammer?
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Yeah.... I guess that was a little harsh.
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I'll tone it down a bit.
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Just a little.

Tuna Lips said...

Ise finds that bomastin' is good fer the sole, like takin' a dump on yer neighbor's porch and ringin' the doorbell. All American style, that's how we roll.

Cowards

The Haters and the Cowards have made their appearance.
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They absolutely know that when they look into the mirror, that they are scumbags and cowards, so they are constantly looking for someone else to blame.
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Have your day, Bitches. You've never gone out of your way to help anyone else in your pathetic, self-absorbed life. You say that you've never done any evil, but you've never done any good either. A waste of freaking protoplasm.
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I'll take one mistake in a lifetime of good over your putrid, one-way existence anyday.
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So take your judgemental, fat assed, self righteous bullshit, and kiss my ass.
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Wouldn't trade our tainted life for your pathetic, hypocritical, shill of a life in a million years.

Bucking the Trend

It's been awhile since I've boasted to you about how well Nanepashemet Telecom is doing.
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How we are Kicking Ass and Taking Names.
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It's come to the point that if we take on more work. we will be bucking the economic trend and hiring people.
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This week, we will have been down to Richmond, RI, over to Concord, MA, down to to the Cape in Orleans and then over the Ferry to Block Island. Plus processing the hell out of our current backlog.
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So despite all of the other Bullshit, Nanepashemet is firing on all cylinders.

Choked Up

ok
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I'll admit it.
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Even a Mountain of a Man like me can get choked up once in awhile.
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The calls and messages we got today, expressing so much support will never be forgotten. They are engraved in the Akashic Record. And we appreciate it deeply.
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Mistakes that were made will fade, but your outpouring will always live with us.
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So there it is.... you've got me where you always wanted me..... misty and emotional.
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Soak it up. It won't freaking last!

Tuna Lips said...

That's which don't kill ya makes fer bein'stronger, that is what my mammy would say. Her bein' all loopy on cough syrup, notwithstanding, she was visionary.

Face forward.

Juicy Tidbits

The emails are streaming in.
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We definitely know who our friends are, and gradually over the next few weeks it will become apparent who are not our friends. Some will come as no surprise, but others will shock the hell out of us.
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That is valuable, but I've already been through something similar, so I don't wish this process on anyone. Even those of you who are enjoying this juicy tidbit.
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That's basically the end of this topic.... so don't be hitting this Blog to see if you can get a juicy tidbit, because that will just be a waste of good internet browsing.

Taking the Hits

Tons of hits on the Blog today.
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You probably know why.
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All I can tell you is that it is not what it seems. Stupid mistakes were made and already paid for.
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The reports leave out some crucial facts.
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And when all is resolved, there will be no reports at all.