Pandering Priorities

I thought that the Navy missile destroying the satellite in space was big news. A huge technological and engineering success. With its load of toxic chemicals, the satellite represented a serious threat.

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- "Pentagon officials said they think a Navy missile scored a direct hit on the fuel tank of an errant spy satellite late Wednesday, eliminating a toxic threat to people on Earth."

It was a big story.
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Larger that Roger Clemens and his wife on steroids.
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Larger that Senator McCain having the hots for a lobbyist.
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Larger than Barach Obama plagiarizing Gov. Duval
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Larger than Manny Ramirez in Spring training.
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But the news channels had it as a virtual asterist.... there's no doubt that many of you ill-informed Peeps didn't hear about it at all. But you heard about the other stuff I mentioned, didn't you?
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I suppose that I should moralize here that this society doesn't have it's priorities straight, that it panders to emotional gossip, that it enjoys our weaknesses and frailties more than our accomplishments.
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But I won't.... People don't want to see that shit on the Blog.

Nanepashemet Peeps of the Week - 8

Great News Sports fans.
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Bob Brown, that Meandering Mass of Molten Manhood, has stepped forth and entered the Arena of Glory. He has declared his willingness to put it all on the line at the Marine Corps Marathon. Damn impressive.
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That brings the list to five who will make the trek to our nation's capital in the fall.

• ME
• Archrival Joe Collins
• Insidious Advisor Bob Wojcik
• Peep of the Year 2006 Tommy McMahon
• Meandering Mass of Molten Manhood, Bob Brown
  

This is gaining momentum.... getting larger than life. I'm really intrigued to see who will be the next to take the pledge. If this gets out of hand, I'll need to stage a fundraiser just to buy the Peep shirts.
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But I have even more important news to address.
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ANNOUNCING....
Nanepashemet Peeps of the Week for Week 8 of 2oo8.

• Joanne Nestor - Automatic Lagavulin Rule
• Mike McLellan
• Bob Brown
• Bob Wojcik
• Tom McMahon
• Dave Bruett

I can't believe that it took eight weeks for the Lagavulin Rule to kick in. The year is starting out lean.

Hump Day Visualization

Wednesday is Hump Day.
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By the end of the day, I'll have my customer billing up to date, my business accounting into the accountant, and a tower construction bid completed.
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Plus I'll have logged some miles on the Cybex Bike to keep pace with my Archrival, Joe Collins.

Murph said...

Jay,
When you are POTY does every major newspaper want a piece of you? How does one obtain anonymity? I might have to speak with either Tuna Lips or McMahon for some advice.....
http://www.wickedlocal.com/marblehead/news/lifestyle/celebrations/x1971619227

Tuna Lips said...

Heh heh, every ding dong day is hump day for ole TL! Positive visualization is a practice I employ on regular like. It does not pay to reflect on your current situation when you are surrounded my a gang of illegal aliens with bicycle chains and razors (it was her that gave me them crabs, and all 300 pounds of her will not get me to admit otherwise!). But as I was expounding, you have to visualize the things that you want, like world peace or an unatended Hostess delivery truck, in order to actuate that premonition. Only then can the things that others claim I am taking without right truly become mine by virtue of my self actualized majesty.

It was like those teenagers I was holding in my cabin out by the creek.

Cable

The channels that I like most on Cable are...

History Channel
International History Channel
Military Channel
National Geographic Channel
Discovery Channel
HBO

.... though not necessarily in that order.

I've been waiting for Comcast Cable to come by for a week now to set me up with HD. What a pain in the ass they are for service. But their product is addictive.

Pisc said...

Dude, give Comcast a call and take this opportunity to drive your rates down. I got my bill last Saturday and noticed that all the "deals" that I had signed up for had now expired and they were ringing the cash register on me. With much aplomb and ice water running throuh my veins, I parried with the two pack a day voice on the other end of the phone, and took $42 off my cable bill. This weekend, I am call the digital phone people to see what I can do there. The Insidious Doctor taught me this technique, no less.

Just ask nicely.

Piscabo

Gaining Momentum

Tom McMahon, POTY 2006, has risen to the challenge.
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I knew he would.
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McMahon said...

I might just have to step in on this J. and beat each on of you by at least an HOUR. I'm aiming for Lance Armstrong in this year's Boston and have kept good pace on it so far. My time is looking to improve from last year's 3:08:12 (with a blown out knee in the last 3 or 4 miles) to an estimated 2:45:00. I'm up to 17 miles already in my training and I'm thinking of breaking the 20 mile marker this Sunday.

You challenged the Peeps and now I'm here to represent. 2 marathons in one year, no biggie.

See you in D.C.

Now that is another reason why Tom is Peep of the Year material.

This brings the list to....

• ME
• Archrival Joe Collins
• Insidious Advisor Bob Wojcik
• Peep of the Year 2006 Tommy McMahon

Annoying, yet inspirational. This is getting better and better. With any luck, Tom will tackle the first drunken idiot he sees with a Red Sox shirt on.

Another Future Marathon Victim

Wojcik is in!!!
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After baiting Collins to accept the challenge, I now have Bob Wojcik agreeing to meet me on the field of honor in Washington DC this October.
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Talk about killing two birds with one stone!
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The only problem is.... now I really have to get in shape for the Marine Corps Marathon. That means dropping at least 50 lbs., keeping injury free, yet maintaining the business pace at Nanepashemet Telecom.... and keeping Joanne happy on top of all of it.
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A Herculean Task.
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But there is no turning back now. No going back to a sedentary lifestyle complete with double cheese pepperoni pizza, nightly Sam Adams, fried dough, potato chips, and pasta binges.
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Maybe I should think this through.
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I can live without these things, but it would be great if I could take some more Peeps down with me... like that wussy old roommate, Bob Towne, who let his body go all to hell. Bob, get your ass to Washington DC in the fall.
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In the meantime, if any of you Peeps are up for the challenge, I'd be happy to put you on the list of those destined for humiliating defeat on October 26, 2008.
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So far, the list is....

• ME
• Archrival Joe Collins
• Insidious Advisor Bob Wojcik

If you want to be on the list, you're going to have to take a bit of verbal and written abuse between now and next autumn. But I'd be happy to supply the "Nanepashemet POTW T-Shirts" so that you can be picked out amongst the legitimate contenders.

Marathon Smack

Remember I was telling you about Joe Collins, my Archrival from UMASS???
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Look at the smack he's putting down for his preparation for our race of destiny at the Marine Corps Marathon in Virginia next fall.....

Weekly recap

date workout

2/11 18.2 miles biking, 160 jump ropes curls while biking

2/13 12.3 miles biking, 135 jump ropes, 60 situps curls while biking

2/15 1.5 mile run 60 situps

2/17 10 mile bike 212 jump ropes 60 situps ! curls while biking

Do you think this scares me Joe? You're going to have to jump a lot more rope before you jangle the nerves of this Mountain of a Man.
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When my mojo kicks in, you'll be eating my dust and staring at my backside.

Overall Improvement

I decided to improve on my WO/M ratio today and was rewarded with Zero Wipeouts per Mile over 4 grueling miles of groomed cross country ski trails at Whitaker Woods in North Conway. Also, I checked in with a town employee to see if Captain Dipshit was correct in charging me a $15.00 trail fee yesterday.
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He was.
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Bummer....
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But I did my civic duty by telling the park employee that the web site was wrong and didn't state the fee to North Conway taxpayers. He acted like he appreciated the information.
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We'll see if he corrects the freaking website.
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In the meantime, I made Curt Schilling's bloody sock look paltry compared to the bleeding blisters that I developed on my left heal and big toe.
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A lesser man would have cashed it in after the first mile, but I was determined to get my four in while the conditions were so good. Actually it didn't hurt too bad, and I was amazed at the amount of blood when I took my ski boot off. I successfully grossed Joanne out.
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She pleasantly surprised me by buying me a bottle of Lagavulin, which, as you know, is an automatic POTW selection.... the first automatic of the year. I love her so much.

Lauren Rathbone said...

Can you believe all the snow in North Conway, we have been going up every weekend, and no one believes me when I tell them the snow banks at our house are 12 feet plus. Saw your adorable grandson on Thursday, dropped of some more of Ethans clothes for him to wear this spring.

Dreams

Last night was brutal.
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I dreamed about people and things that spanned the length of my experience for over 40 years. It wasn't scary, and the people were ageless, both dead and alive, and were inserted and juxtaposed into situations which were incongruous with the manner that I knew them.
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People interspersed with others who had no relation to each other, like a City Planner from Lynn dealing with an Admin from General Dynamics. Totally different ages and contexts.
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In the middle of it all, I had a nasty case of the runs and was thrashing around making Joanne's night a little too exciting in a not so nice way.
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I'm not versed in Freud's interepretation of dreams theories, and I'm not sure if these are internal brain storms or external spiritual events. Probably a combination.
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At any rate, I'd appreciate a less active night tonight.

Tuna Lips said...

Sounds like one of them dreams from Joseph of biblical times, you know, seven years of feast, seven years of famine.

I spose you best stock up on the pepto. Just one fellers thinking. Maybe start advising that picaninny governor you gots up there, them folks is all for such voo doo. Make some cash, grab a pension out of it.

Proaction thinking, best done on the latrine.

Self Control

So I'm feeling a little guilty because I XC skied on the groomed trails behind our condominium without picking up a pass.
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After checking the web on how to obtain a pass, I find out that North Conway residents and taxpayers are supposed to have a free pass.
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You would think that I was applying for a visa to Afganistan by the loser counter geek at Ragged Mountain Sports where you are supposed to pick up the passes. After showing him a Town of Conway correspondence that was addressed to Joanne, he asked if that was my name.
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Naturally, I kept my cool.
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I said "No, that's my spouse. See the address? It's the same address as mine on the license that I'm showing you."
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Captain Dipshit took a least two minutes studying the license and the letter, then he said that I needed a current bill from the Town.
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Again, I maintained my kind and courteous disposition.
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I asked him to look us up on the web. We are taxpayers in Conway and have been for 15 years.
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Seeing that I wasn't going to leave, our Moron of the Hour pulled out a printout of taxpayers, and lo and behold, there was Joanne's name. So he says, "It says Joanne and not John."
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Now, I disclosed a tiny bit that I was starting to get annoyed by this useless sack of monkey shit, and I asked him if I should just get a pass for Joanne.
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Lieutenant Dork then opined that it seemed like he could give me a pass, but that the internet was wrong and that it would cost $15.00.
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Now I was downright pissed, and required all of the self control that I could muster, because this Asshole deserves to have his head ripped off so that I can wipe his ass with his own face.
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But again, I exhibited appropriate restraint.
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Mega Dink took my picture with a polaroid camera and laminated a freaking season's pass, handing it to me and wishing me a nice day.
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So Captain Dipshit, enjoy your bureaucratic powerhouse position as Bitch of the XC Trail passes.
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I pray to GOD to find you alone out on the groomed course.

X-C Test

We made the escape to North Conway this weekend. The snow is deeper than I ever remember it, so I strapped on the XC skis and hauled my bulk over the frozen trails. After four miles of vigorous slipping and sliding, I had only fallen four times, giving me a wipe out per mile ratio of 1.0 WO/M.
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That is a metric that I am trying to improve upon.
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I was surprised how tired I was, and drenched with sweat in the single digit temps, after a relatively short distance. I guess that's bad.
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The good part is that my left knee (the one that Wojcik screwed up by giving me faulty advice) held up really well, paving the way for a serious attempt at the Marine Marathon, where my arch rival, Joe Collins will again know how it feels to be defeated atheletically by non other than myself.

POTW Week 7

Every once and awhile, one of you pathetic Peeps sends me an email, asking why I get so aggravated and irritable.
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If you read the earlier shit from Piscatelli and McMahon, you'd see how hard it is to be me.
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With friends like that... who needs Al Queda???
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ANNOUNCING....
Nanepashemet Peeps of the Week for Week 7 of 2008

• Courtney Nestor
• Pat Piscatelli
• Tommy McMahon
• Jim Peabody
• Katelyn Nestor
• Kim Dunn

BTW... I got a nice email from a Peep out of Newport News, VA today who wanted tips on building a Marblehead Chamberlain Gunning Dory. I almost forgot that I was a boatbuilder. Thanks for the reality check. Time to get back into the garage.

Tuna Lips said...

I applaud yer return to your garage roots. That garage is a place where a man can do some thinking, and the epoxy and lacquer essences can put your mind on a God plane of knowing things.

Winter time too. I tells you what, grasshopper, you get that cat in there to russle up some varmints. Aimin' to hone your arts of war? Then have a snort or three of clear likker and sit in that fume hood. You watch that cat hunt them field mice, and you shall see the face of God. Pilgrim, I kid you not. But dont put on Burt Bacharach's Greatest Hits and start rummaging through the missus clothing storage. The EMTs told me I nearly asphyxiated myself in those panty hose and pumps. Not good.