Sunday, November 11, 2007
Another Convert
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I introduced Frankie to the virtues of Lagavulin though, so it wasn't all bad.
Dream On
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Normally I would search for the channel changer and find some cool program on the History Channel to try to wake up to, but the channel changer was missing so I decided to drift back off to sleep and pay attention to my dreams.
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Man... Dreams can be so crazy. The way things seem so logical as you are dreaming them, then you wake up and say "How does a volleyball transform into a Cat????" and "Why was I gagged and wearing earmuffs at a company picnic?" and even much weirder stuff that is hard to articulate.
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It is amazing that when you are dreaming, these images and transformations seem perfectly tuned to reality. Then when you wake up and think about it, you say to yourself, "WTF!!!"
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Naturally, a bunch of you wise ass Peeps are going to make stupid remarks of what these images reveal about me. Bring it on!!! If you were so damn well adjusted, you wouldn't be logging on to this rediculous Blog.
Friday, November 09, 2007
Getting into the Holiday Spirit
Further Fart Fun
Friday Forecast
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I don't usually like to work on business during the weekend.... it's healthy to turn away for a two day period. But we have to get all of the small details under wraps as we attack a major procurement that will have a profound effect on our company.
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I know. Once again, the Marblehead Gunning Dory project is fading from view. I obviously haven't forgotten about it, but if I land this business, everything should be moving forward, and I will be able to devote some attention to your precious Dory.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
POTW - Week 45
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Then I went to Dr. Danny Levy's office and had the baby tooth that had been my left front canine for the last half century yanked. I felt sentimental about it and took it home in an envelope. Not that I believe in the tooth fairy or anything. I asked Joanne if she wanted it mounted in a necklace or something, however, she had no real show of enthusiasm.
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Now I have a full size bridge and my mouth feels completely unnatural. Wonder if this will screw up my public speaking ability? At least Scotch tastes the same.
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For the most part, the dentist trip proved to be cathartic after my embarrassing jerk episode.
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..... So now I'm back to normal.
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Announcing....
Nanepashemet Peeps of the Week for Week 45 of 2007
- Pete Endras
- Emily Ingardia
- Rebecca May
- Tanya Towne
- Joe Collins
- Tom Faiola
Fart Retort
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It was one of Tuna Lips best comments, though and bears sharing here.
Bird Mystery
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Don't you hate that???
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No worries. I'll solve this mystery soon enough
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Sundance Parents
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It was good input to the business decision that we made last year to move.
Fart Facts
Remember Bob Wojcik? That sinister soliciter of subterfuge? That harrowing harbinger of happenstance? Yeah him. He's the one that put my marathon training on ice with his calf stretching advice.
Well he's trying to get back into my good graces by giving me this really interesting documentation from the Mayo Clinic on farts and farting.
Just when you think he can't do anything worse, he sends me this stuff.... and totally redeems himself.
What is intestinal gas?
More than 99 percent of intestinal gas is a mixture of the same odorless gases that are present throughout the environment. These include nitrogen, oxygen, carbon dioxide, hydrogen and sometimes methane. But the exact composition of this mixture varies from person to person, depending on body chemistry and diet.
The nitrogen, oxygen and most of the carbon dioxide in intestinal gas come from the air you swallow when you eat, drink, chew gum or smoke. Chemical reactions in your stomach also produce some of the carbon dioxide content of gas.
Bacteria normally present in the large intestine produce the hydrogen and methane in gas. These bacteria feed on undigested food and release gases during a process called fermentation.
Which foods cause intestinal gas?
Carbonated beverages may cause gas. So can carbohydrates because they often contain indigestible sugars, starches and fiber. For example:
- Lactose. Milk and milk products such as cheese and ice cream, as well as some processed breads, cereals and salad dressings, contain the sugar lactose. While most people can digest lactose with no difficulty, some have trouble because they don't produce any or enough of the enzyme lactase, which splits lactose into digestible parts. Without lactase, milk and other lactose-rich foods ferment in the intestine, releasing excessive gas. People of African, Asian and American Indian descent are most likely to be deficient in lactase.
- Fructose. Onions, artichokes, pears, wheat, and some soft drinks and processed foods contain this sugar, which may be difficult to digest.
- Sorbitol. Apples, pears, peaches, prunes, and some sugar-free foods, candies and chewing gum contain the sugar alcohol sorbitol, another compound that's hard to digest.
- Raffinose. This sugar is found in beans, cabbage, brussels sprouts, broccoli, asparagus and whole grains.
Rice is the only starch absorbed almost completely by the small intestine. Because rice starch never reaches the large intestine, gas-producing bacteria don't break this starch down. But other starches, including potatoes, corn, noodles and wheat, are gas producers. Dietary fiber, found in beans and wheat bran, also tends to produce gas. When research subjects ate a diet in which half of their calories came from pork and beans, they experienced a tenfold increase in their normal gas production.
Pumped Up
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It's important not to get carried away by the adrenalin at times like this. But I vastly prefer it to getting my ass kicked. Best to find a middle ground.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Get Out of Towne
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No.... He is not the UniBomber. That guy was picked up years ago.
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No.... He was not flexing. Even in college, he was pretty ripped.
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If you want to get really off the wall, I'll post a photo of our buddy, Joe Collins.
So get off my ass. What the hell does your roommate look like?????
Many a night, Shoo Fly and me was hoboin', we'd settled into a tin of baked beans, dash on some catsup, and throw in a piece of salt pork, before an open fire under a starry sky, and we'd fart the William Tell Overture. Tanglewood has nothin to compare.
Its a burden being an artist.