Those of you who are particularly close to the Mountain of a Man know that the New Year is a time for solemn reflection and MOAM meditative moments.
And rightly so…. Now is the time of year for both a review of past resolutions and and reconstitution of new ones.
It’s always a downer to look at past resolutions….. things can get too critical to the point where self reflection draws a conclusion that your Mountain of a Man is a Pussy, Loser, Girly-Man. Course we know that can’t be the case, but year after year, I resolve to lose weight and get in shape…. and year after year I end up during the Holiday Season struggling to find clothes that I can button without great exertion and discomfort.
But this year is going to be different. Mike gets married in August up in the White Mountains of New Hampshire this year, and the wedding photo will show a newly invented, lean and fit MOAM.
How will this happen????
I really have no freaking idea… except for the fact that this year, I resolve to try, observe and record every aspect of my weight situation until that fateful morning, 214 days from today, when I will suit up in a rented tuxedo tipping the scales at below 200 lbs.
Those of you who can guess my current weight will retort with a comment much like, “No EFFING WAY!!!” And I don’t blame you.
But I lay my claim here,… in front of all of you Pernicious, Pulsating, yet Wholesome and Benevolent Peeps….that I will achieve this resolution by August 1, 2015 or be a willing victim to your scorn and vilification.
OK… I realize that you already send a great deal of scorn and vilification my way as it is…. but this is different
This time, I will join you in in you vile thought and emotion… and that I cannot condone.
So I’ve made this resolution in front of you and the world…. And to juice things up a bit, I will be happy to report the progress in the March to August. Not that I would counsel you to follow this pathetic and slightly narcissistic process on my part. This is your burden, as a Nanepashemet Peep..... to mindlessly marvel at the MOAM moments that move towards you as we enter yet another mundane yet miraculous year in the Nanepashemet journey entitled 2015….