Johnny We Hardly Knew Ye

Peeps...
So many of you recently have been asking me lately what is the deal with our Congressman from the 6th Congressional District here on the North Shore of Massachusetts.
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Don't you read the freaking newpapers??? Can't you figure this shit out for yourself????

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Obviously not.... so in the interest of getting you pathetic whiners off of my back for the next day or so, here is the scoop as I see it.
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Congressman John Tierney is under siege lately because of his wife's involvement with his brother-in-law's illegal gambling business headquartered in the offshore Carribean island of Antiqua.
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Apparently, Tierney's wife kept the books and cashed checks to herself of a couple hundred thousand dollars.... as well as some other company perks.
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And Tierney took two trips to Antiqua to the company headquarters.
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But when the shit hit the fan and his wife went to the Joint for 40 days or so, the Congressman claimed that he knew absolutely nothing.
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Johnny We Hardly Knew Ye
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Here is the complimentary Nanepashemet political advice for the beleaguered Congressman.... Fess Up.   You are going down faster than Barney Frank on his honeymoon, so you might as well do it with a little integrity in the mix.
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Obviously you knew something.... or you would have to be accused as a dim witted nincompoop... and that you are not.   So say something like...."I was scared for my wife when I found out that she had gotten so deep into this, and my judgement was flawed by not coming forth to the authorities.   I am sorry and wish to move on from this dreadful matter that has engulfed my family."  And, sorry to say, you should then resign and become a lobbyist or something.
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Everybody has family that strays from the path once in awhile.  This would appeal to a more sympathetic response to your unfortunate plight, and you wouldn't be insulting everybody's intelligence by claiming that you were blind to all of the Horseshit around you.
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For the record, Peeps, I think that John is a pretty good guy, and I'm sorry to see him take this hit.
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And no Peeps.....  I absolutely will not be running for his seat.  If I was elected, I'd have to resign almost immediately with all of the Bullshit in my past.