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Thursday, November 19, 2009

Automatic

Sometimes I take even the most obvious things for granted.
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For example, it's been a while since I set you Peeps straight on the sacred criteria that is used to select the weekly Nanepashemet Peeps of the Week. Unlike the Brotherhood of the Masonic Temple, there are no secrets here.  Our rituals are open for the world to see.
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Because of this, I tend to think that all of you are proficient in the decision making process.   But since it has been so long since someone has become an "Automatic Peep of the Week", it is clear to me that an alarming number of you are lacking in the basic protocol.
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Just so you know....
To be named a POTW, you must....

... have done something annoying, and/ or,
... have done something inspirational, and,
... not be dead, or deceased.,and,
... not be an animal.

However.... should you take the exceptionally admirable action of buying me a 750 ml bottle of Lagavulin 16 Year Old Single Malt Scotch. you are automatically named a Peep of the Week, regardless of the appicability of any of the other criteria.
 ~
And I remember warmly those of you who went the "Automatic" Route.   People like "Mountain of a Man" Bobby Brown , the Insidious Bob Wojcik, Mike Elsier, Jay Turner, Tammy Pham, Archrival Joe Collins, to name a few, have appropriately achieved the honored status by going this route.
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It actually makes the most sense to buy me a bottle of Lagavulin, because otherwise, you can never know why you were a chosen POTW.   And this can cause needless angst and anxiety.
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So become an "Automatic POTW".  You'll feel good about yourself and I will certainly enjoy the "King of Scotch".
 ~
BTW, if you are really ambitious, you should know that a case of Lagavulin would buy you an automatic Peep of the Year title.  And not just for next year.... I actually would dethrone the current POTY, Lauren Rathbone, to accomodate you immediately.


Lauren Rathbone said....

What did I do!!


I really am not going to be able to get over that last sentence. Jason thinks I am overreacting, but I am hungover today and this was not what I needed to see. And now I am suspicous of the peep of the week selection.

Lauren -
Surely you would have to step down if somebody else bought me a case of Lagavulin!!!!  That goes without saying.

However, you can nip this in the bud by buying me a case of Lagavulin yourself.  That way, you will have total assurance that no one could pre-empt you in the last month or so of your POTY reign.

It's your choice.
- J

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous12:34 PM

    What did I do!!Lauren Rathbone

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous12:36 PM

    I really am not going to be able to get over that last sentence. Jason thinks I am overreacting, but I am hungover today and this was not what I needed to see. And now I am suspicous of the peep of the week selection. Lauren Rathbone

    ReplyDelete

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