Sunday, August 31, 2008

Mystery of the Links

My son Michael bought a new set of Cleveland golf clubs yesterday, which I'm sure he will put to good use. Ryan is also a pretty good golfer and can drive the ball over 300 yds. on occasion.
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So Mike decided to make small talk this afternoon, by asking me why I thought that I sucked so bad in golf. Normally, my response would be a kindly but firm, "Kiss My Ass", but the topic is one that has intrigued me as well.
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After all, the two boys are good golfers, both captained the Marblehead HS Golf Team in their senior years, and my father was a natural athelete who just about mastered any sport he tried. I remember he always would come home with trophies for bowling or golf - every time he got involved with some sort of organized activity. He was also a hell of a baseball player, spending a season down south in the Yankees farm system.
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Like I told you earlier, my tennis game was once such that I felt I could play with anyone, and I always could hit a baseball. So why can't I at least play golf with a modicum of competency???
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My drives are erratic and short.
I can't chip to save myself.
Putting is an atrocious embarrassment.
I never open a sleeve of balls that I don't lose in the woods.
A round is something that I survive, not finish.
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WTF is going on????
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So Mike, it's a legit question, and deserves a thoughtful answer. And the answer is..." I have no freaking idea....so Kiss My Ass".

Tuna Lips said...

"I likes to go swimmin' with bowlegged women and swims between their legs, swims between there legs, o swim betweens their legs . . ." oh ascuse my little ditty, I was just ponderin' how Willie Clinton is kickin' hisself fer selectin' that Al Gore ninny he run with. Shoulda got hisself an office mate he could play grab ass with like this Sarah gal, wearing her hot pants and toting a double ought, he'd a had a big ole party and kept that feller hillary off his back. Shucks, titties and guns, throw in some bourbon and take out, you got yerself the life of, well, Tuna Lips, heh heh heh. I'm gone, see ya, wouldn't wanta be ya!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"I likes to go swimmin' with bowlegged women and swims between their legs, swims between there legs, o swim betweens their legs . . ." oh ascuse my little ditty, I was just ponderin' how Willie Clinton is kickin' hisself fer selectin' that Al Gore ninny he run with. Shoulda got hisself an office mate he could play grab ass with like this Sarah gal, wearing her hot pants and toting a double ought, he'd a had a big ole party and kept that feller hillary off his back. Shucks, titties and guns, throw in some bourbon and take out, you got yerself the life of, well, Tuna Lips, heh heh heh. I'm gone, see ya, wouldn't wanta be ya!